LMFAO: Stephanie Ritz Comes Between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

Your LOAD OF CRAP for the day is presented by NW Australia:



Click to enlarge and read:


Oh God, I have tears in my eyes! Thanks for the laugh NW! The day I say "Can I be Stephanie Ritz for 1 day" you come up with this marvelous tale of how Stephanie is coming between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. God bless you and your creative writers!



Thanks to Irish Twilight Sisters for the scan and VictoriaRMiles for the tip :)

62 comments:

Marna said...

What are you kidding? This would be GREAT if it was true. It's my biggest dream that Rob will suddenly realize that he needs an older woman who has dyed blond hair & could stand to lose a few pounds. Not that that description has anything to do with me. Nope.

raizie said...

OMG, I was just saying to someone, how I wonder why they have never said anything about how close he walks to her, or how they're always sneaking away for intimate dinners, etc.

How hysterical. Nick is the next target - mark my words!

zeldafitzgerald said...

in australia, this magazine is used to line kitty litter trays.

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

ROTFLMAO Marna! There's hope for us (them) after all!!!
Although I did just give up my fake blond hair for fake chestnut... Trying to channel Bella...

raizie said...

Marna,
The truth is, though, an older woman like *cough* Steph *cough* would probably make sure his shirts were buttoned correctly. I'm sure *cough Steph *cough* would button him back up herself. We're just nurturing like that. I mean Steph is, yup, Steph.

MMc said...

I would believe that Zelda.

They say Rob "retaliated".......OMG!!!!
That would imply that he is devious and mean and I don't see either of those negative qualities in him. I mean everyone has a bad day but it's just not his style to act like that - I don't think.

MMc said...

This agent has helped him make MILLIONS and GAZILLIONS of dollars - I think I'd be pretty nice to here too.

RPLover said...

OMG-and I just said in the other thread that he and Stephanie came out of the restaurant and started gettin' down on the sidewalk! LOL we must have given them the idea, right!

hmmmm, he did say once that he would date an older woman, and that it was good to feel dirty about it, makes it better ;)

*raises hand* older woman over here, Rob! ;))

Unknown said...

Every week a different cock and bull story, i am embarassed to be an Australian if it means any association with this literary junk.

drabrasil said...

when I saw it this morning I have almost faint... this is soooo ridiculous...
nothing against old woman with young man... I'm older than ROB and see no problem AT ALL!!! OH MY!!!!

Kat said...

That is soooooo funny! I wish it were true; I wish he loved older women who could actually go to a bar with him and have a drink. And Stephanie actually looks like a woman, not a 10 year old boy with breast implants (or not!).

RobertMyLove could have any woman he wants and I hope he takes his time to find the right one. There is no hurry for him to get terribly involved with anyone. That said, if he's not shagging me, I don't care who he's shagging as long as he keeps himself safe.

Be happy, RobertMyLove, and enjoy your life your way.

Ripley said...

Goz--you are one funny lady. Love your comments. Thanks for the laughs.

kimberlesk said...

YEEESSSS!!

BBT FINALLY MAKES AN APPEARANCE ON ROBSESSED!!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Kay...
He'll yea to the women with dome booty & thighs!

He does have time ... He's 23 for
fucks sake...and should just be having a ball... But he also has to be careful of all the money grubbing skanks that would love to sink their claws in him

Areli said...

omg i always wonder how people never seem to talk about how close Stephanie and rob are. It will be funny if they are going out , rob once sayed that he would date an older women. Dirty naughty boy.

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

I meant Kat not Kay

Unknown said...

You know it's BS when they say "Kristen is an L.A.girl" she hates LA and is not that kind of girl at all. Canary cage liner for sure.

Bootstrap Intern said...

Well, that was a good laugh.

Unknown said...

this was a good laugh. slightly more funny than the thought of him and kristen actually being together. at least he smiles when he's around stephanie lol but absolutely ridiculously far-fetched story!!

JS77 said...

saw this same thing yesterday over at RPL and wondered when Y'all would have a go at it... TOOOOOOO FUNNY I LAUGHED TILL I CRIED!!!!!

Suz said...

This pic proves NW is right...

Rob & Steph got caught in the coat closet and accidentally got their jackets mixed up.

http://splashnewsonline.celebuzz.com/2009/11/bfm_enlarged/enlarged-robert-pattinson-japan-twilight.html

See.. Black leather goes with black jeans..

Gray jacket goes with Steph's shiteous dress.

Suz = Robanie Shipper.

SluttyPattz said...

LMBO - this is hilarious.

Ellie said...

Um...no.

Although it does give us older women some hope (Rob DID say he liked older women, at some point...) lol

Ellie said...

Oh, where are my manners??

Good evening ladies!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Suz? Robanie???? That's up there with pee paw... I'm dying here...

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Hi Ellie!

GHOSTGIRL said...

I don't think these mags have a limit on the bullshit and crap they're imagine and writing it's too ridiculous

Jewels64 said...

I fucking crack up everytime you post that picture from the Big Bang Theory!!!

I love it! ** giggles **

Thanks Goz!!!! :)

Jewels64 said...

I fucking crack up everytime you post that picture from the Big Bang Theory!!!

I love it! ** giggles **

Thanks Goz!!!! :)

Suz said...

Oh RPG!

what's so funny?

You in denial?

lol

xxx

Anonymous said...

I feel bad for all the crazy rumours Rob has to deal with. But this one is hilarious.
Like many comments here, as soon as I saw the Japan restaurant pics today, I thought how come they never mentioned anything about Stephanie....there it is.
Geez!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Suz...,
you just crack my ass up... Like Rob...I don't want my ass crack to show...

Fuck I'm drunk.. Have wine bottles all over my room and my bed is unmade..

Ellie said...

Hey, rp and Suz!

Oh, and Jules!

How are my girls tonight?


(um, er,~~rp, I already know how YOU are...make that bed! lol)

summer said...

O.M.G. Rob is 'trying' an older more experienced woman!!!Yay, now it won't be much of a shame to finally get in the line :D

summer said...

O.M.G. Rob is 'trying' an older more experienced woman!!!Yay, now it won't be much of a shame to finally get in the line :D

Haystackhair said...

LMAO. It was just a matter of time...

Gracie said...

Marna...too funny...LMAO....

Godze you shouled be a comedian....Thanks for the laugh..

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Ellie,

don't want to make the bed... Keep hoping rob just might mess it up.... Wear those pee paw jammies and bring his cob!

bonemama said...

look at the way hes looking at her..he must be into her fer sure...like OMG! ;-P

i think hes one of her fave clients. i wonder who else shes an agent to?

DK said...

To me, Steph looks pretty dang hot. He could do worse.

DK said...

To me, Steph looks pretty dang hot. He could do worse.

Georgie said...

Goodness gracious, what next in the creative writing stakes?! Revelations of Catherine H having her wicked way with Rob on the casting couch?

Suz said...

CH had major wood for Robbie.

Suz said...

Oh and RPG.. clean up those dried up scrambled eggs will ya..

ya fecking drunk!

xxx

bonemama said...

@Suz after everything i've heard lately..i think you are right about CW

Suz said...

can't say that I blame her one bit..

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Ch totally had wood ..and stil does for Rob.,.

Suz... I heart you babe...

Georgie said...

Oh CH was smitten with Rob alright...just like the rest of us...after all she's only human!

Rhonda said...

Well, the jacket he is wearing matches her dress here.

http://twitpic.com/o31yq

That is practically a wedding announcement, no? Or is that only in Robsten land? (SARCASM)

riley said...

lol, Rob knows how to pander in regards to his loving the older ladies. I noticed that when he is asked about crushes, he always picks older women who are married, people who can't rape him the minute they hear he has a crush on them!

Or in this case, magazines know how to pander, it's every cougar's dream! Too cute, stephanie is adorable though, I love how her and the nick guy babysit Robert 24/7 to make sure he stays out of trouble, or at least trouble doesn't stick to him!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Omg is anyone watcing ET??? Rabbi Schmooli? Is that a real name?

Rabbi Schmooli, I'm sorry but me sp horny for Rob, I can't help it Rabbi Schmooli..

Omg now extra is saying Rob was ".nearly" attacked in japan...

Ana73 said...

just getting thru all of the "news" for the day. i really HATE my new job, hoping to quit by weekend...

they are really reaching for something to print if they are putting stephanie in the middle between rob & kristen, too funny.

RPG - you made me laugh so hard with your comment earlier about rob getting a chihuaua - thank you for that laught needed it.

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Ana73,

hi hon... I missed you today??
How's your new job?

You need to get drunk and put the day behind you

Loisada said...

Yep, never believed Stephanie's story about letting the Rob sleep on her couch any way, no siree... Nice try at covering your tracks, Stephie babe, but we're in the VJJ wearing crew too and we're totally on to you!

Ana73 said...

RPG - my new job SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!! but thanks for asking. A drink sounds good but i cant, not tonight at least. I will see how tomorrow goes.

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Rhonda,
seriously .. Matching colors must mean you're fucking, right?

Shit I'll wear a grey burlap sack everyday..

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Ana,
babe I'm sorry ... We' ll gossip tomorrow then..

Ana73 said...

RPG - definitely tomorrow, good night :(

GOROB said...

Rob did say something admirable about Natalie Portman and she approached him at one of the Oscar after parties! I think she is older but not married! One of his fellow stars said he was patient and that's why he says when he spots a girl he likes he waits and learns before he approaches her! Just like one of the big cats! I don't think he jumps into relationships!

Athena said...

OK, you gotta give it to the Aussie rags: they do have a fervid imagination! Hahaha!

I, too, would like to see Rob with an older woman. Possibly 4'8" tall, dark haired and Italian. I just happen to know one who fits such description. We happen to be very close, too, joined at the hip, I could say. And the arms, and neck, and head, etc.

:D

Kelly Louise said...

Hahahaha, oh, that's hilarious. This is so predictable I couldn't even have predicted it.

JLD said...

What bollocks! Lol. Wait for it they'll throw Taylor Lautner in to the mix next or Chris even. lol.

 
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