Robert Pattinson Still An 'SNL' Wish For Michaels




Robert Pattinson Still An 'SNL' Wish For Michaels


Twi-hards, keep your fingers crossed: Robert Pattinson may yet host "Saturday Night Live."

"SNL" creator Lorne Michaels told OK! Magazine that he's all on board getting the "Twilight" star to host the show.

“We asked him this season,” Michaels told the magazine. “And then he did Jimmy’s show and that went well for him."

Last year, he told the same magazine he wasn't sure if Pattinson would make a good host. "You never know," he told the magazine.

Source via RobPattzNews

150 comments:

angie-k said...

Lorne Michaels knows that will be the best rated show ever if he gets The Pretty to host.

S. said...

Maybe if we show support for him like eerybody did for Betty White, he might decide to do it.

Kate said...

We don't even get this show over here :-((

RTP_KJS_Lover said...

This would be awesome! Rob on JF was genius. I just hope they would write a good show for him, sometimes SNL sucks big time. But to hear Rob speak and to see him on TV, I am all for it.

angie-k said...

Kate, you're not missing much - unless Rob is on it. The show used to be awesomely funny, now, eh...

@CL - so true! the writers will be a key factor, but of course I'D watch & tivo & WATCH AGAIN & AGAIN because it is ROB!

Haystackhair said...

I freakin LOVE this clip. LOL. He was sooo adorable. That appearance was all kinds of WIN!!!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

I would love to see him on SNL, but only if they get way better writers than they have now....and only if he's 100% comfortable doing it.

He's so shy, and I think it would scare the crap out of him...but with good writers, he's comedic timing is awesome!

Robiscool said...

So hope this happens. I enjoyed Taylor on SNL, particularly this skit "Lab Partners"--LMAO. For you lovelies, in case you didn't see it--

http://www.hulu.com/watch/114945/saturday-night-live-lab-partners

And if our guy makes it on SNL, Kate, I'll send you a Youtube clip!

Brooke Moss said...

As much as I would LOVE to see him on SNL, it would break my heart if he didn't do well and the press hacked him up over it. However, I am getting the feeling that they'll tear him to pieces whether he does well or not. Plus, SNL isn't very good anymore. So as much as a right of passage as it is, its sort of crap. I don't know what I think...

HeneciaD said...

waving everyone omg bohvered love this really love this

@angie-k lol he should know The Pretty is the sexiest man entire of the world

@nbwannabe may he can you are right

@CL who can say no to more rob

nikola6 said...

Don't hold your breath.

I just don't know if Rob could handle this right now. With judgement (on his work, on his life) being passed on him all damn day long the wide world over (why thank you Mr. Internet), why would he want to paint bulls eye on the middle of his forehead too?

Besides. SNL used to be good. It's not anymore. The hosts and musical guests used to be cool. Not so much anymore. It's kind of become another stop on the pop cultural shit parade. Yes, the political satire can still knock it out of the park (Tina Fey as dipshit...excuse me, Govenor Palin was godsend for that show). But the truth is, SNL has lots it's relevancy.

If I thought Rob wouldn't start crying and then crap his pants, it could be fun. But I just think it would be torturous for him.

You don't need it babe.

You're Rob Fucking Pattinson.

Brooke Moss said...

Nik...

I totally agree. He doesn't need it. He's Robert F*cking Pattinson. :)

Well said, my friend.

Ana73 said...

I thought that SNL was supposed to be going off because of poor ratings but it comes back year after year...

nikola6 said...

And of course Lorne Michaels wants him to do the show. Why?

BECAUSE HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!

Although Mr. Michael's initially hesitated didn't he? Before baby boy became Rob Fucking Pattinson.

Too late Lorne. You should have nabbed him in the first two weeks after Twilight came out. Before the avalanche of backlash against him began. Oh wait. As I recall, the backlash did start about two weeks after Twilight was released. Where is my head?

nikola6 said...

Hi Sarah?

How's the kids? I just keep picturing you with two in the stroller and two more hanging onto your legs. My baby sister too. Four girls. Although they're older now. Her baby is nine. Beautiful but mean as a snake.

But we've decided to keep her anyway.

nikola6 said...

And now that I think of it...

Note to Rob...

I absolutely forbid you to host Saturday Night Live. 'Cause you wouldn't be the only one crying and crappin' your pants.

I'd be so nervous and frightened for you, that I'm 99.9% sure I'd require medical intervention before the show concluded.

ix-nay on the o-shay. apish-K?

noisefaidaus said...

Yeah like OK is such a reliable source.

Brooke Moss said...

LOL, the kids are fine.....and yes, that is exactly what I look like, screaming kids, strollers, baby puke....*SIGH*

Maybe your sister is mean as a snake because of the 4 kids. I am pretty mean, too. :)

But, I too, will sign that petition. No hosting SNL, Rob. They lost their chance long before you became...The Pretty.

Cheeky Chops said...

I have always loved the end..he shakes his head like..I can't take it..turn the camera off before I start laughing and fall the hell outa this tree..LMAO

Cindygal said...

...gosh they would bash Rob, even call him 'fame whore' as if Rob is seeking attention! He's Rob 'F#cking' Pattinson

HeneciaD said...

@nik lol rob fucking pattinson but I dont want it to be just about fame

nikola6 said...

Sarah...

My baby sister passed mean about 10years ago. She's now just terminally enraged. Nah. She's great.

And yeah...

If you reeeeeeally love Rob, you don't want this for him. Not right now.

Brooke Moss said...

Nik....

If we're going to go there, which I'm sure we are, then lets be honest. Rob can do anything...ANYTHING...and then when people demand an explanation, he could just say, "Because I', Rob F*ing Pattinson, that's why!!" and walk away.

Of course, he wouldn't because he's the nicest man alive. But thats beside the point.

Brooke Moss said...

Rob! Why did you shove that old lady down?

BECAUSE I'M ROB F*ING PATTINSON!!

Rob! Why did you set fire to that bus full of nuns??

BECAUSE I'M ROB F*ING PATTINSON!!!

nikola6 said...

@Robsessive...

For him it isn't. But the rest of the world sitting in judgement of him...it is.

Brooke Moss said...

Rob!! Why did you run naked through times square and dry hump a lamp post!?

BECAUSE I'M ROB F*ING PATTINSON!!

RPLover said...

Oh, how I love him in that tree!!

Sarah, your comments the last two days have had me LMFAO! XD such a nice change from other comments.

nikola6 said...

Sarah...

Now THAT would make for a pretty damn good sketch on the show. The truth is...

With all of the Twilight insanity and his worldwide fame, they could mock the hell out of him (and he could do a pretty damn good job of that himself) and they probably could come up with a pretty damn good show out it all (if they had the writing. hell, Rob would probably have to write it himself). 'Cause god knows, the material is there.

But still...
The timing just seems...off.

It would look like he was just seeking more of the limelight. And the irony is...he's seeking none of the limelight. How do people miss what is so blantanly obvious?

Oh yeah. Because they're STOOPID!

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

LOL @ Sarah
My head is now filled with improbable and bizarre things that he could be doing beacuse he's "Rob f**king Pattinson"!
Supposed to be feeding the kids now as it's 5.45ish here, sigh.

HeneciaD said...

@nik you are right and I dont know why they are doing it how can you judge a person that you dont know exacly its weird go rob I will supoort you whatever you do

nikola6 said...

Oh Sarah. I'm dying here.

I'd take three giant steps towards death to see him run naked through Times Square and dry hump a lamp post.

What am I saying? I'd probably just drop dead from laughing.

Rob...why are you dry humping that corspe that just dropped dead from laughing at you?

Corspe sits up, and says to him...'don't answer that, just keep humping.' Oh. And yeah...

BECAUSE HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!

HeneciaD said...

@sarah and fifty lol he can run into my house like it

RTP_KJS_Lover said...

@Nikola6 - waving hello to Nik.

*All, I would like to nominate this for comment of the day*
From Nikola6 -
You're Rob Fucking Pattinson.

*Standing ovation for Nik*

nikola6 said...

I think we may have something here.

I see t-shirts. Mugs. Keyrings. Stationary. Tubes of lip gloss. Jewelry boxes. Tote bags...Lace thongs. Glow in dark condoms.

BECAUSE HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!

I think they call it a cottage industry. We'd make a fortune.

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

@ Robsessive

Wearing the harness ;)

Because he's Rob F**king Pattinson.

Brooke Moss said...

Rob! Why did that woman literally die at your feet while you were running around naked and dry humping a lamp post!?


BECAUSE I'M ROB F*ING PATTINSON!!

Rob!! Why is that woman with four kids and a stroller and baby puke down the front of her bought-from-target tee shirt screaming incoherantly???

BECAUSE I'M ROB F*ING PATTINSON!!

Brooke Moss said...

CullenloversmelledthePretty....


I second that nom. It was brilliant.

And Nik......I would buy all that product. It will be your cash cow. "BECAUSE HE'S ROB F*CKING PATTINSON"

Rad. *wiping tears*

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

I am in hysterics.
And my children are starving.

Cheeky Chops said...

Woman and husband complaining..they have been trying forever to get pregnant and nothing has happened..*boohoo*..Robert gives her the stare and BAM preggers..Husband is stunned and asks what the hell, and how the hell that happened???

Robert: *smirk* I'm Robert F^ckin Pattinson *smirk*

Brooke Moss said...

Actually.....I am ready to be honest with my new cyber friends...

Sarah, why do you spend most of your day lurking on gossip websites and commenting at Robsessive.com and listening to the soundtrack from How to Be, when you should be paying attention to your husband and children??

BECAUSE HE'S ROB F*ING PATTINSON.

*SIGH*

Brooke Moss said...

Kember....I literally spit juice across the computer. That was brilliant.

HeneciaD said...

@fifty yeah wearing the harness cuz its rob fucking pattinson omg thats what it is=))


@sarah girl LMNBAO aahaha hey why this girl is running with a coffee and hobnub in her hand and screaming

Because I am Rob Fucking Pattinson

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

My God Sarah, you've just described my life...

Because...

Brooke Moss said...

Ok, lets take it a step further....

Cancer is cured. Nobody knows how, but someone catches a glimpse of Rob leaving a research lab, his dirty tee shirt rumpled and a smoke hanging from his lips...

What happened?? How did you cure cancer??

He turns, pulling a very a'la James Dean grimace as the smoke goes in his eyes...

"I'm Rob F*ing Pattinson..."

The lab techs all concede. He has a point.

Brooke Moss said...

The war in Iraq is suddenly over. White flags going up all over the place. Everyone is hugging and crying.

Someone spies Rob walking through the desert, a beanie on his head despite the heat, and a ripped flannel flapping in the wind...

Rob!? How did you end the war?

He turns, shrugging, his wonky feet making him stumble slightly.

"I'm Rob F*ing Pattinson."

Chocolate Martini Gal said...

Nik, you are truly a genius. :o)

**applause**

HeneciaD said...

@nikola omg go girl =)) you are a genious

bach said...

Sarach, et al. You should send this skit idea to SNL in case Rob does agree to host. It would be a brilliant theme and fitting because the reason he's "Rob F*cking Pattinson" is because he doesn't take himself seriously.

RPLover said...

omg, I'm laughcrying here! X'D

Gotta go feed the kid, but keep it up! bbl

Brooke Moss said...

Nik.....

Please tell me you're a writer for TV, and you can make this happen. You're a freakin' genius.

nikola6 said...

Oh you guys are killing me. I can't keep up. But I'll try...

Rob, why is everything you do, say and are (no matter how ridiculous
-at times- that might be), turn women on to such a degree that their reproductive organs (even those that have been removed) squee
and their girly bits hop up and do the tango at the mere thought of you?

Smirks (good one Kember, good one)...

BECAUSE I'M ROB FUCKING PATTINSON

HeneciaD said...

@RPL yeah I am laughing so much and my little brother here asking what happened

Brooke Moss said...

Rob! How did you just walk on water beside Jesus?

I'M ROB F*ING PATTINSON!

Rob! How did you just turn that water into wine?

I'M ROB F*ING PATTINSON!!

RTP_KJS_Lover said...

@Nik @SBR @Kember - I am already super hyper today, and this thread has made me kick it up a notch. I am LMFAO!

I'm Rob Fucking Pattinson!

*Nik, we're already using it on Twitter. You might want to trade-mark it.*

HeneciaD said...

@nikola go on girl go on thats what he does omg I need to go to robdreamland

Brooke Moss said...

I could go on for days. This is sick. :)

nikola6 said...

I'm no genuis. Just a friggin' idiot with squirmy girly bits who fell head over heals for this little shit. You wrecked my life, damn you Rob.

And if I ever run into him again, I'm gonna punch him in the face for it and hollar...

AND THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!!!

Fae007 said...

LMAO!!!!! You're all cracking me up!

Chuck Norris finally ran away and hid in a mouse hole... why?

Chuck Norris: "CAUSE HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!"

:D

Brooke Moss said...

Sarah! Why did you leave your husband and kids, become anorexic, get a fake ID saying your only twenty three, adopt a fake accent, and move to London?

Because he's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

HeneciaD said...

@fae LMNBAO girl it seems like you are here

Cheeky Chops said...

LM MF AO...YESSSS NIK

nikola6 said...

Nah CL...

You guys can have it. I'm sure I'm not the first to coin it.

Oh dear. Speaking of squirmy girly bits...

I think I need to go change my panties. If I don't get off this chair soon, one of you is gonna have to come over here and pry me off it with a spatula.

I hate him.

Brooke Moss said...

Dude. Chuck Norris has NOTHING on Rob Pattinson.

I agree with you, Nik..........my life was normal until the little british bastard with the messy hair and the scruff entered my life.

I, too, will punch him in the face, then say "Its because you're Rob F*ING Pattinson!!"

Then, amidst his protests, I will hump him silly, and yell, again, "BECAUSE YOU'RE ROB F*ING PATTINSON!!"

Petra Eller said...

Halllooooooo
Why all the ladies are here today on the page completely mad?

Because of ROB FUCKING PATTINSON

And I think that will be even worse. ;))))))

Brooke Moss said...

Sarah, why are you doing time in the pen for kidnapping and sexual assault?

I look up, my face filled with pride...

"Because he's Rob F*ING Pattinson."

HeneciaD said...

@sarah same everything was ok but when he came I was like wtf I want him to take me to his house and...

LeslieHeartsRob said...

Holee Shyte!! Ya`ll are crackin` me up!!! I almost spit water all over my keyboard and everybody is looking at me like I`ve got a third head!!

LMFNArseO!!

And I agree with CL...quote of the day goes to nic......BECAUSE I`M ROBERT F*CKING PATTINSON!

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

Uh-oh, is that Social Services at the door? My starving children must have called them.
Meanwhile I sit at the pc crying with laughter.
I am a bad mother, and it's his fault.
BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING ROBERT PATTINSON!

Fae007 said...

Sarah

Haha, yeah, why don't you sleep at night and spend your time on one place instead?
And why suddenly you love the sound of the word "girl" and "bizzare" and laugh every time you hear bothered?

Because he's ROD FUCKING PATTERSON! ;)

Brooke Moss said...

I am just going to start changing all the chuck norris jokes to Rob Pattinson...

Rob Pattinson visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just called the Islands.

HeneciaD said...

@fifty yeah its all the fault Rob Fucking Pattinson

@fae hon yahoo chat;)) actually after this

Fae007 said...

LMAO @ Sarah!

Fae007 said...

Only Rob Pattinson knows where the circle starts and where it ends!

Brooke Moss said...

Rob walked into a bar. The bar was instantly burned to the ground, as that level of hot cannot be contained in one building.

He's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

Oops, just realized that I got my "ROB" and my "FUCKING" the wrong way round - both words in the same sentence make me a little light-headed...

Fae007 said...

Rob Pattinson got angry only 2 times in his life...

History calls it World War I and World War I! ;)

HeneciaD said...

@sarah just island lol not virgin anymore LMNBAO love this girl you are so funny

Brooke Moss said...

When Rob has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

He's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

HeneciaD said...

@sarah again LOL too much hotness

@fifty LOL yeah its dangerous but a kind of law of the nature

Brooke Moss said...

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Rob calls this "a slow Tuesday."

He's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

Cheeky Chops said...

*F^cking Robert Pattinson*

MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm

I think my Lady bits have just melted onto the chair..d@mn~!

HeneciaD said...

@fae LOL girl will you come to yahoo chat ??

RTP_KJS_Lover said...

So I just tweeted this but it fits in.

Me: Why are you such a SexGod
Him: *smirks, runs hand through hair*
I'm Rob Fucking Pattinson

*Nik, we owe you big time for this phrase*

Brooke Moss said...

Rob gave Mona Lisa her smile. It happened when she saw Rob naked.

He's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

HeneciaD said...

@sarah slow tuesday LOL hey he should keep one day to me I mean whole day LOL no such a thing like get out of from bed

nikola6 said...

The island comment, Sarah? Now THAT was brilliant.

Aww. And thank you so much for that nomination and standing 'O' CL. So...what does the award look like?

If I win and it comes in the shape of a sparkling peen, I swear, I'll do naughty things to myself with it at the podium. And that's because...wait for it...

HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTINSON

Brooke Moss said...

Nik!!

I literally just crapped myself and fell out of my chair. You crack me up.

Cheeky Chops said...

Shyte Sara..I wish..ppl wonder why I hope Robert is a man-whore..experience ppl, experience..he's the sexiest man alive but he's still just 23 almost 24..I hope he has the experience of a 40 yr old in bed..cause if I ever get a hold of him and he doesn't..LORD HELP HIM~!

Brooke Moss said...

Ok, I Have to go take care of my children. They are ignored and hungry. Why?

He's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

HeneciaD said...

@nik hey do you know what it remind me the big pretty omg dying girl that was brilliant

nikola6 said...

Where the hell is RPG?

She'd put us all under the table with this stuff.

Rob was once offered the postition of ruler of all time, space and dimension. But he passed. Who needs that shit he said...

I'M ROB FUCKING PATTINSON

Brooke Moss said...

I agree Kember.....imagine what he will be like when he is Brad Pitts age? Or Viggo Mortensons? OY. I will spontaneously combust in front of my computer!!

........yes, because he's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

ROTFLMAO!!!

I don't have much time, but Sarah & Nik you guys are killing me!

I'm trying to work!!

Because I'm Robert Fucking Pattinson....OMG I love it...

NO SNL!!!!!

HeneciaD said...

@nikola hey you should keep what you write in here omg

Brooke Moss said...

God once offered Rob his job, but Rob laughed at the offer, citing that he already had powers greater than God, telling him with a laugh...

"Dude, I'm Rob F*ING Pattinson..."

HeneciaD said...

@sarah woooowww

HeneciaD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brooke Moss said...

I know....I think I just won a spot in hell for a few of the last jokes. Oh well, it was worth it...

He's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

nikola6 said...

Damn. I wanna stay and play and I can only think of one thing that would pull me away from here. He just showed up at the door with a six pack, hollaring...

GET THE HELL OFF THAT COMP NIK. I'M ROB FUCKING PATTINSON.

Oh dear. Lemme go tie him to the four poster and after I've knocked him into a coma, I'll sneak back.

Now's who's smirking?

Uh. That would be...me and the girly bits.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Brooke Moss said...

TAKE PICTURES!! TAKE PICTURES!!

HeneciaD said...

@nik and sarah girl because of you I want to go to the naughty corner with him

Because he is Rob Fucking Pattinson

Cheeky Chops said...

Adopt my motto:

F^CK HIM DEAD~!!!

Cheeky Chops said...

If ur not trying to kill him..ur not doing it right..LMAO

nikola6 said...

Uh...just snuck back, wanted to tell...dammit Rob would you get your hands outta my bra for just one second? Anyway, just wanted to tell RPG...oh for god's sake. How can I type when you're trying to wrap my hands around your...uh...here...you hold it. I'm just trying to tell RPG that I left a...listen mister, you even think about that right now and I'm gonna yank it up and shove it in your mouth. Jaysus!!! RPG? I sent ya an e-mail. There. Yes Rob, I'm coming (that's what she said). Man oh man...who the hell do you think you are? Oh. Right.

rob fucking pattinson

Allright. Allright. I'll scream your name for ya...

HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!!!

(where the hell did he fling my bra?)

hazeleyes said...

lol rob is the cheese..omg..lmao..i really think he could do comedy,somewhere in an interview he stated he didnt think he would be could at it,but come on..he has so many facial expressions....it would totally work in his favor...just think of the possibilities.....

Brooke Moss said...

Nik....the saying "Dont put that in your mouth, you dont know where its been" does NOT APPLY HERE.

HeneciaD said...

@nikola you killed me omg wait one thing

me'Rob I have to tell that you are here'

Rob 'hey come here girl I cant wait you are not even with your clothes'

me 'here rob now do whatever you want cuz you are rob fucking pattinson'

Cheeky Chops said...

Hahahahahahaha....

Loisada said...

So to sum things up, why should Rob never even consider doing the lame-ass show that SNL has become?

Because all the good writers are playing away on the Robsessed show, and....

Because he's Robert Fucking Pattinson!

Marna said...

I hope he doesn't do this, I just don't think this is something he would be good at. I watched part of Taylor's show, & it was just embarrassing, & Taylor is much better at speaking publicly than Rob is. The show is also NOT FUNNY, which is a pretty big determent in my book.

hazeleyes said...

you ladies should try reading this in a hosptial setting ;) it aint easy when he's cheey...lol and ya'll making my day here...lol

RTP_KJS_Lover said...

@Nik - ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!

You are on fire today. Don't stop.

Re: Your award for Comment of the Day. Since you have ThePretty at your house...you don't get no damn award. The award just threw your bra somewhere. But, for us, could you please make a molding of TheBigPretty so we can add sparkles to it....and then, um, possibly do other things with it. ;-)

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

Grrr - husband is trapped in Geneva due to UK airspace being completely closed until at least tomorrow! We're all locked in! With Rob.

nikola6 said...

Okay. He's out like a light. I can play some more. Although I really cannot find that bra and I paid six bucks for that sucker at Target. Ya hear that Rob? SIX BUCKS! AT TARGET! Well. The man does like his cheap langerie. Anyhoo...Aw shit. He's up. Lemme go take a peek in at him. Yup. He UP allright. Yeah. Yeah. I know.

YOU'RE ROB FUCKING PATTINSON

Duty calls.

Cheeky Chops said...

That was fast..and why am I not surprised??? ^_^

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

@ CL
That's another Robsessed marketing idea - sparkle peens to (ahem) play with whilst listening to Rob's Bedtime Stories (in French) - they could come (ahem) in a package together!
We'll all be rich!!

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

@ nik
See, he may be young and (relatively) inexperienced - but he's got the stamina ;)

nikola6 said...

Gotcha CL...molding.

Hmmm...don't think I've got any plaster handy. Maybe I could make some oatmeal. And believe me, after five minutes, my oatmeal is plaster.

Although...if I'm applying anything edible to THAT, well...it's just gonna get licked clean as a whistle. Just sayin'.

I'll work on it.

Gotta run. Someone's in my bed hollaring...

GET YER ASS IN HERE. I'M ROB FUCKING PATTINSON.

HeneciaD said...

OMG OMG OMG

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

@ nik

ARSE - surely.

HeneciaD said...

@nikola you are such a genius

Cheeky Chops said...

Nooooooooo Fifty..I made those already..way back..sparkley peen for twilight and purple peen for Remember Me..got that covered already. :)

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

When people see the size of this post they're going to think that it's troll generated. Then they'll peek in and find that we've all lost it. Completely.

nikola6 said...

And RPG...

What the hell do you mean you're working? I won't have it. How's about this...ditch da boss and come on over here. You do and you can have him for the afternoon shift.

Me? I need a sitz bath. Damn he ain't kidding when he screams...

I'M ROB FUCKING PATTINSON

HeneciaD said...

gotta go rl stuff I will check after done with it

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

Ah, but Kember, you've got to market them as a double, packaged with the Bedtime Stories that we invented a couple of months ago. They will literally fly off the shelves.

Cheeky Chops said...

o00o0o0o0o I didn't know about the bedtime stories..those sound nice.
Damn that was fast again..talk about vampire swiftness..LOL

nikola6 said...

Well ya see Fifty...

When he first gets back after a prolonged seperation, he's kinda...that's right...fifty shades of crazy. But after the first 20-30 go rounds, he settles down and then it becomes a kinda 'slow and steady wins the race' kinda thing. Either way works for me 'cause...

HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTINSON

annieEvilRobPornPusher said...

@Fiftyshadesofpink I just saw the word size in your comment and I immediately thought about something else,couldn't even read the next! and I wouldn't think that way if it wasn't Robert FUCKING Pattinson!!!!

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

@ Kember
The idea was Rob Reading Bedtime Stories (for grown up girls) in French, on a sheepskin rug, in front of a blazing fire (you know, the red flannel butt-crack photo), on dvd.
It'll sell millions, even to those who cannot understand French...
Package it with a sparkle peen - and there you go! Perfect for bedtime.

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Nik,
I owe you an email...


I work to support my Rob addiction and ROBSTOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

nikola6 said...

OH. MY. GOD.

I really gotta get off of this comp. The little shit is so jealous and possesive and to get back at me for running in here to play, he's taken a can of spray paint and painted all over my living room walls...

BECAUSE I'M ROB FUCKING PATTINSON

If I don't go give him some attention, he'll spray paint the front of the house.

And if he does, I swear to god, I'm gonna spray paint something. With indelible paint. And it won't be pretty and sparkly.

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

@ annie
LOL! We're all headed to the NB mansion tonight, I reckon. I need a rest on the new sofas ;)

Cheeky Chops said...

*FAINT*

RTP_KJS_Lover said...

@EvilAnnie @Fifty - It's gonna be a really crowded NB mansion tonight.
Why?

Because of Robert Fucking Pattinson

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

@ CL
I'm just going to be a giggling heap collapsed in a corner of the NB mansion tonight anyways! Feel a bit hyper today - maybe it's from breathing in the volcanic ash?

annieEvilRobPornPusher said...

@CL A mansion wouldn't be BIG enough! He needs a castle for his HUGE(ahem) NB fan club!
He is Robert Fucking Pattinson! Build him a castle!

nikola6 said...

I've just kicked his ass out the door to get me some tacos. And thought I'd take this opportunity to re-read the thread. Wow! We really went nuts today, didn't we? Although I think I must correct Sarah...

You said if Rob ever turns gay, it'll be because he's done all the women. Nope. It'll be because he's KILLED all the women. One by stinkin' one.

And someone said something to me about saving some of this insanity that I write here. Well. I suppose I could. But then I'd have to learn how to save shit on the comp and who the hell wants to do that? Everyone you idiot. Everyone but you. Oh.

Hang on. Phone's ringing...

"NO! I didn't say 'fish' tacos. I said 'extra cheese. Ya got 'fish' on the brain there, dontcha' kid? Aren't you sweet. And they said you didn't like va-jay jay. FOOLS! Okay. See ya soon. What? No. I'm not on the comp. That humming you hear is my body anxiously awaiting your return. Hurry back. Extra cheese."

*Sigh*

I'm sitting here in blissed out post coital...uh...bliss. I haven't even the energy to shout it. Oh well. One last time...

BECAUSE HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTISON


It's been fun guys. My god. What would we do if we ever found out that he stumbled upon some of this insanity? I'm not sure what I'd do, but it wouldn't surprise me if he ran off and joined a monastary.

Oh come on Rob. Were just funnin' ya. And that's cause...

Oh hell. You know.

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

Sparklepeen Towers, perhaps?

Brooke Moss said...

If Rob read this, and did anything besides have a good laugh and blush and run his hand through his hair embarrassedly, then he isnt the Rob I have come to know and love.

But we all know he would laugh. Because he doesnt take himself too seriously. Why?

Thats right, girls...

He's Rob F*ING Pattinson.

Cheeky Chops said...

We have all gone officially insane..and I can never keep up with you girls..one; I really do not talk that much..and two; because I'm always too busy giggling like a freakin lunatic to type..LOL

solas said...

I do not wish this on himself.

jc(britlover) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jc(britlover) said...

If Rob wants to host SNL, yeah, I'd watch (be glued). But, I don't think he will any time soon.

This has been a most enjoyable thread, hysterically funny. This is such a great site. Why?

Because it's about ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!!!

Finally:
Rob never googles. He just stares at the computer until it displays RobsessedBlog! Why?
Because he's ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!

FILTM

MMc said...

I don't think Rob should host - I do think he should do a cameo appearance that is pre-recorded and done the way he wants it. He has a hard time remembering his lines and likes to have someone feeding them to him - I read on the Bel Ami site - and live tv would be pretty nerve wracking for him I think.

He just has a lot more to lose now if he screws up..........when he was not so well known, it would have been no big deal, but now???

Taylor's appearance was good but some of the sketches were just embarrassing - though he handled them well.

Rob has a great sense of humor, but obviously us Americans don't "get" a lot of his British humor. i.e. allergy comment.

And if he was so nervous at the MTV awards that "a little bit is coming out of my pants"......imagine how he'd feel with THIS!!

If he did it, I'd be so nervous FOR him too.

Nancy said...

Sorry, diagree here. Rob is a wonder natural comic. I'd love to see him on SNL without the (snarky, written attitude like they did Taylor)

The Taylor Swift show was good. Guess I am mixed about it. They are in attack mode most of the time lately. Don't always watch anymore. Except when I know the host. (I think Michaels knows this?!)

Love the wonderful comments ladies today. It's April 15 and I'm a tax accountant. So was very busy and haven't been here much.

Hope Rob realizes we don't care what he does, just so we can watch and adore him more. He's our guy. Even husbands understand this!

angie-k said...

Been stuck in the NoRobWorld today...damn school fundrasier. Anyway this thread has been absofreakinglutely hilarious today!

I'm dying & crying & my sides ache from laughing like a mad woman! Standing ovation to Nik & Sarah!!

Nik - Thank you for "I'm Rob Fucking Pattinson" This will go down in ROBSessed history!

Time to find a room in the NB castle & move on in...

;o)

lallieb said...

Nik, you have really out done yourself today, ratcheted up the funny. Obviously appreciated after all the "drama" of the past couple of days. @Sarah and Fifty, the fact you have children, waiting to eat no less, and are nevertheless big time Robsessed, gives me hope that I am not insane. You all seem rather normal and sane, well maybe not totally....in a good way ;)
Oh yuh, on topic, who's believing anything OK is reporting and NOooo Rob should definitely not do SNL.

MMc said...

I don't think Rob should host - I do think he should do a cameo appearance that is pre-recorded and done the way he wants it. He has a hard time remembering his lines and likes to have someone feeding them to him - I read on the Bel Ami site - and live tv would be pretty nerve wracking for him I think.

He just has a lot more to lose now if he screws up..........when he was not so well known, it would have been no big deal, but now???

Taylor's appearance was good but some of the sketches were just embarrassing - though he handled them well.

Rob has a great sense of humor, but obviously us Americans don't "get" a lot of his British humor. i.e. allergy comment.

And if he was so nervous at the MTV awards that "a little bit is coming out of my pants"......imagine how he'd feel with THIS!!

If he did it, I'd be so nervous FOR him too.

womadsart said...

I know I'm here too late but wanted to say this was the funniest thread in a while!!! We needed this!!

nik. Thread is dead now cause it's late at night.. I'm laughing hysterical in my kitchen all alone at 10:55 pm while my family is upstairs sleeping.. This is going down in Robsessesd History!!!!!!

if ya don't wanna save the stuff you wrote today I am... 4 real.. Your material is worth saving... need to re-read in June in LA over some drinks!!
And the t-shirt!! YES I WILL WEAR IT.. because..

HE'S ROB FUCKING PATTINSON!

:D

 
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