Strike of the Ultimate Zygote

This is all kinds of wrong and yet I can't stop staring! My eyes! MY EYES!



Now go and look at the GQ pictures to cleanse your mind :))

Tracy, I don't know if I should thank you or hate you for sending me this picture, lol :) Thanks :)

339 comments:

  1. what?????

    I'm laughing so hard........
    plghfnnhtyyeesllnnha.......

    sorry!

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  2. That picture is disturbing. Seriously. WTF?

    Somehow I can't help but look at it again though...

    And those shoes and socks. Wow.

    ...crazy: hiya!

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  3. oh god...quick...where the f*** are the GQ pics???!!!!!

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  4. I am seriously going to piss myself from laughing soooooo hard...and I am so not ashamed to admit that. WHAT IN THE SAM HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE????

    Fuck

    Me.

    LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

    This is the ultimate Zygote Rob...fo' sho'.....He looks sooo uncomfortable...his little belly is sticking out over his shorts? boxers? lady killers? WTF!


    Thanks for posting...He is adorable! :-)

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  5. "I call this look... 'blue steel'"

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  6. Oh no... Oh no.... Oh no...

    Burn after reading, viewing, whatever!

    GG!! just out of fairness, you HAVE to post a GQ outtake directly under this one..

    Poor wee lamb...

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  7. TS~ hey!!!! how on earth was this allowed to happen? I can't look; it's so embarrassing!!!

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  8. Can't. Even. Type.
    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    What are you people trying to do to me? I can't even function as a normal adult after discovering this blog.

    Omigod, the belly. hahahahahaha It's so awesome.

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  9. snrwopftz ... I think I just peed a little I laughed so hard. It's so wrong on so many levels and yet it's funnier than hell. Thank god for puberty!

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  10. Poor Rob probably wishes this pic was BURNED!

    Its so bad but I can't stop looking!! GAH!

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  11. Anon: Blue steel...genius!

    Mel: His belly...you stole my thoughts.

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  12. THIS PIC WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS (hopefully) LMFAO!

    This is wrong on so many levels!!!!

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  13. You know.... He sort of reminds me of my Grandfather in this one.... All thats missing are the sock-suspender thingies..

    And what the hell are on those boxers! No wonder he goes commando now (allegedly)

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  14. HAHAHA! I have tears in my eyes! The whole set up is awesome! The socks, his belly, everything! LMAO!

    And I linked the GQ pictures in the post out of the kindness of my heart.

    Hahaha!

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  15. This pic is so freakin naughty...and not in the good way. I feel like such a perv...well I am, but...

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  16. Where is everybody??!!! They've gotta see this one!!!!!!

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  17. Gozde, hate her!

    Poor Rob, this is so ridiculous.

    Going to check on GQ again, please!

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  18. He's so young! How old is he there? He just looks like a kid that someone dressed up in a very strange and inappropriate way.

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  19. Thanks, Goz!! You srsly have me LMAO @ this pic.

    What do you think they are supposed to be modeling?

    Shoes?

    Scarves?

    Underwear?

    I can't decide...LOL

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  20. this is hilarious...

    you know the picture that you hate that your mother has of you that you just want to burn but she keeps for some God known reason...this is his!!!!

    but the sad part this is for all of the world to see!!!!

    poor rob, but that was then and this in NOW (think of GQ)

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  21. This was in his portfolio. Catherine saw it and knew she had her Edward. LMAO still. My belly hurts!!!

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  22. She could seriously try out for vampire... the glare off her white skin is scary!!!

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  23. by the way look at the girls shoes...now this is funny

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  24. *FACEPALM* Lord help me... I thought I liked the zygote pix...but this is just seven different hells that I'm being forced to endure as penance for all my incredibly XXX thoughts I had racing through my head after the GQ pix came out...

    Must cleanse the mind....GAAAAAHHH!

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  25. I can not stop laughing... this picture is wrong on so many levels... But I keep looking at it.

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  26. Melissa, I read an interview not too longer with the photographer who shot this. It was for Swim wear with a vintage theme...

    Recap: Rob was extremely shy, nervous, but professional. Even with all this, the photographer sensed he had 'something special'

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  27. Poor Rob. You know, it was written that he was too young for this shoot so he was accompanied by his mother, Clare. Perhaps since she worked for a modeling agency, she thought nothing of these pics. But I bet she never dreamed Rob would become so famous and these goodies would be resurrected. The zygote Rob by himself has been around for some time--I'm wondering where this gem was hidden????

    The only thing I'm glad about in this shot is that, at last, we almost see his chest--no surprises.

    I doubt it looks much different now, a tiny bit built up due to the working out.

    I like Rob's leaness, so no complaints here.

    I just feel sad because the gossip people are gonna have a field day!

    Where ever you are now ROB, please come out and let the paps take your photo so it will cancel out this beaut, OK?

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  28. Goz babe, I loves you but this pic just gives me the OOGIES!!!!

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  29. Hey, hey BI! What's cookin'?

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  30. oh gozde, you are on right now...
    i read the McVampy story on fanfiction that you wrote about...
    yikes now that was pretty heavy, the story was ok but i thought the way she had them talking was a bit overdoing it. they are supposed to smart in college not just out of the streets. my stepdaughter is 18 and she does not talk like that. way way different then the wway the story was on twilight but that was cute the way she incorporated all the characters, just my thought.

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  31. Jewels ~ You're right! This our punishment for our lust!!!!!!!!

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  32. Tess~this was for swimwear??? LMAO!!

    I have never seen anyone go to the beach dressed like this...LOL

    Srsly, my sides hurt from laughing...LOL

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  33. Hey TS: Corned beef and cabbage is what's cooking!!! :)

    I can't stop looking, and laughing, at this picture. I'm so glad I have GQ Rob to look at.

    Hey Crazy!!! What's up!

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  34. TESS,
    Yeah, that "something special" may have been the fact that the kid would wear anything he was asked to wear. Jesus!

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  35. Aw crapcheese...I keep going back and looking at it... I keep giggling...

    Baby fat became slight beer belly...

    Legs...thighs were starting to make their appearance.... Nice calf muscles by the way.....

    Oh dammit this is so wrong...but laughing even more now....

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  36. *

    What? No Robsesser is going to write:

    "Hot", "Gorgeous", "That is criminal"(well, that one could apply here), "That man rocks", "I need another cold shower now", "I want him now", "Love his chest", "I could just make him", "Please, marry me", or whatever it is that WE always write about the hottest thing on earth???

    Come on, girls! Let´s be creative!

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  37. Oh Jesus, this is madness!!! My eyes are burning and I am laughing so hard my stomach hurts. I feel extremely sorry for him, poor baby...

    And this is a time at which I hope that he is NOT looking at this site. I don't want his feelings to get hurt. But I'm sure by now he has realized that this picture and the other ones from that time were just really bad and disturbing.

    They look like child porno pics and was that photographer gay or what? Because Rob totally looked exploited... Now I feel sad but wait I'm happy again there is my baby in GQ:)

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  38. Oh this is wrong on SO many levels.


    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Poor Rob :( He probably wishes these pics would just go away! lol

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  39. awwww...It's disturbing. Funny as hell. This isn't right. Something is off with me laughing at him and boxers. I dunno. I forget, how old is he again? I'm pissing my pants.

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  40. you are right it does look like some sort of child porn, that is great, i didnt think of that until now.

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  41. Sophia~ i just can't right now!!! Give me a minute! LMFAO.

    BI and TS ~
    DH wants 2 know what'sgoing on. I think I'll show him the pic. He'll never bother me again. :O

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  42. Sophia - All that goes without being said ;)

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  43. Ohhh! Please post GQ, VF, EW anything!!! Must cleanse the eyes. Those picture make me feel wrong for loving him. Thise must have been taken before 16 when he was still modeling.

    Please GQ me quick.

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  44. The girl is probably like "damn and I thought I was modeling with a 15 year old gay boy..." Bet she's kicking herself in the ass now for not hooking up with him!

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  45. Sophia, I'm sorry, LOL, but I have nothing positive to say about this pic... well, it is making me laugh, that's a positive, right??? Oh and at least he has grown up to be a fine fine man.

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  46. i just lost my horn.... must look at GQ out takes

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  47. Why do I have a feeling that Rob would also think this is hilarious?

    He wondered what all the fuss was about with that horrible EW cover showing him with all kinds of make up with kristen. He said "was it that bad?"

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  48. It's like a freaking traffic accident...I'm morbidly obsessed with looking at it...

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  49. Tess, what does going "commando" mean? I've never heard that phrase before. I'm so clueless.

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  50. OMG...I dunno why I just went back to look. That's bad. It does look like like these are kids being exploited. And his belly is so...I wanna say it reminds me of my 3 year old son's belly...soooo cute! =)

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  51. Commando mean no underwear.

    I always thought that too tho.

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  52. Holy shizzz crazy! You have a blogger account now? How WAS that horse ride? hehe

    Tell dh to be a good boy and leave you to your robsession...he'll catch his later...much later ;)

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  53. Oh his shirtless scene in New Moon couldn't possibly disappoint after this!!

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  54. Jewels: Ditto! I can't seem to walk away from it. My dinner is getting cold... I.must.walk.away.

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  55. yes TS, finally~ you should've been here today while Tenneil laughed at me 'cause i couldn't figure the damn thing out. She had to help me! I'm blaming it on lack of sleep from last night. that's my story and i'm sticking to it. :)

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  56. When I first looked at it, I thought it was a fake picture, a "montage".

    Then I recognized his hand, and, also, the leg´s hair (you can see that in HPotter, I always STOP at this point of the film), but, oh, Rob, that bear belly IS KILLING ME!

    You are right, crazy, let´s give us some more time...

    But, still, I think we can do it...

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  57. omg!!!!!!! That is sooo bad! You know how ebarrassed he has to be about that whole shoot? For the love of god take it down! hahaha

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  58. Mel, we all dress like this to the beach in England.... no, really...

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  59. AAAGGGHHHH!!!!! MY EYES! MY EYES!

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  60. wowie, thanks for the explanation and the visual. I'm cured! Icould breath for a second just thinking about Rob going "commando". Just cured me from those pics! I'm not felling that wrong for wanting him now.

    I'm ready for more Rob hotness.

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  61. black socks on english men at the beach is very common..

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  62. BI ~ yes, thinking positive thoughts...winning the lottery, ice cream, bunnies, child porn Rob....oh nooooo!

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  63. Fucking creepy.
    And yes, a little bit funny.
    but creepier than funny.

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  64. Okay, I just looked again. And still laughing.
    I really hope Rob is laughing at this. Poor baby.

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  65. Oh, HELLO Kat, Ellie, Jules, Tess, Laura, Goz...!!

    xoxo

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  66. Melissa.... we also do not take photo's at the beach. We're all painfully white.

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  67. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  68. Hey Mel! GAH! Why can I not stop looking at this picture?? HAHAHA

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  69. TS ~ oh no! what if I see childporn Rob when i'm with my DH now???

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  70. I wrote bear belly, it is BEER BELLY! You see, how upset I am???

    I can´t stop laughing. And my boyfriend is in the other computer. HE CAN´T SEE THAT!!!

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  71. Oh yeah... my laughing took away my manners....

    Hi Tess, Ellie, Rose, Mel, Laura... Goz (still here?).... who'd I miss....

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  72. Hey Kat, Ellie, Laura and Tess!

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  73. Soph~ still processing the magnitude of this........ and still cracking up!

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  74. My eyes! My eyes!! I'm blind over here. X_X

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  75. Hi loves!

    This pic is seriously *hork* worthy!

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  76. bear belly works tooo..

    *shudder*

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  77. So THIS is what the English must wear to the beach? No wonder Rob is so pasty.

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  78. See...this is why I'd rather have my own visual. I like guys with clothes on. Well, at least their bottoms on. ::sigh::

    Seriously, what does that make me that I keep looking at it?

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  79. Bootstrap...I wanna poke the belly too. ;)

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  80. Hi, Laura, Tess, Rose, Mel,and Goz
    (still awake there, young lady?)!!!

    How are all my lovelies tonight??

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  81. BI: Do you think he would laugh like the doughboy if you did? Might be worth it for that...

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  82. Hi Rose & Sabrizzz!!


    Kat~don't you hold out on me!! LOL

    Pale is the new tan, so bust out!

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  83. This pic is making my eyes burn.

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  84. Course...I'm the girl who has a partially dressed TomStu as her avatar....I'm so wrong!!!!

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  85. Oh, I missed Kat! How could I do that??

    Hello, Kat!

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  86. BI ~ I have the urge to blow raspberries into it.

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  87. Hey Kat, Rose, Ellie, Mel, Goz (?), and Sabrizz!

    I'll be back on here a little later. It's bathtime! Unfortunately I'll have this image in my head the whole time! hahaha

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  88. And hello Kat, Tess, Laura, and anyone else I missed!

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  89. OH, and hey Jules!! DIdn't see you!

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  90. Mel - you're getting no beach pics from me.

    I think Rob should put the pic on a t-shirt and wear it with pride...

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  91. TS: I am going to believe he would laugh like the doughboy if I did... yup, that's what I'm believing.

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  92. MUUUAAAHHHH BABIES!!!

    I love that the girls are here...

    **Blows kisses to Rob's belly**

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  93. LOL Laura! Go look at the GQ pics before you take a bath and hopefully you won't think about zygote Rob.

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  94. Hey Sabrizzzzz, Ellie.... Jules...

    I love the way Laura announces "bath time" and she doesn't have kids :-)

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  95. Hello Ellie and Sabrina. I'm off for a bit.

    Have fun ladies! xo you's

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  96. Ok, Kat...its cool...LOL

    No beach pics for me either...LOL

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  97. that HAS to be photoshopped!

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  98. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
    Can I die? OMG what the heck is this?
    He can't be real. Looks like a fake barbie male doll. AHAHA LMFAO!!!

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  99. Hahhahaha Kat...I never would have thought of that...
    Is Laura just 'dirty'?

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  100. I don't think I've taken the name of God in vain so many times in a span of 10 seconds. LMAO! OMFG!

    WHAAAT???

    Wait...wasn't his mom with him when this pic was taken? The photographer said so in some article posted here before. LOL! If my mom took my 'lil bro to a photo shoot and this is the outcome, I'd make a living blackmailing the family, I'd never have to work! LOL!

    I guess the only thing left to do now is to take the name of God in vain some more until I'm numb. LMAO!

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  101. Well, if Rob is embarrassed by these pics, I hope he knows that EVERYONE has embarrassing pics and CAN RELATE - but not very many people go on to become majorly successful and loved actors known all over the world.

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  102. BI: "If I were Rob"...I would laugh like the doughboy.


    Liked that didn't you?

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  103. Saying Laura is dirty is pretty much just stating the obvious. LOL

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  104. OMG That is not his body! He has never looked like that in his life!

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  105. She just wants us to have mental images of her in the bath... dirty girl...

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  106. Lilly~ i think we should all post really embarrassing pics of ourselves here, to make if fair and square. I have one of me wearing nothing but knee pads and goggles. ;)

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  107. Maybe "bath" is some kind of code word...

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  108. Okay...been gone appparently for too long...because this is what I come back to. WTF... Zygote Rob to the 10th degree of all wrongness. Okay I know his mom worked for a modeling agency but did she have to sign him up for this... he looks ....well there are no words for once I am speechless....when it comes to the man!!!

    Hey Ladies....happy st p day!!

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  109. Ah... that's it. It's her code. Speaking of, I must paint some doors tonight...

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  110. I turn my back for 5 minutes, and I'm getting called "dirty" LOL!!

    Like Sabrizz said, I thought that was obvious. HAHA

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  111. I wonder which Rob Laura is thinking about in said bath. Hopefully not SwimRob..BLEH.

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  112. Tenneil - do u believe this/??

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  113. Okay, at least they're color coordinated with their outfits...if anyone can call 'black and white' coordinated.

    God, help me find something right about this...please...LOL.

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  114. Oh HI LAURA!!! I didnt see you there...LOL

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  115. Ladies...I gotta pop off for a moment...BRB...

    Laura is a dirty girl...I'm gonna have to wash really well after seeing these photos too...

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  116. Mel--ComicCon Rob, actually! hahahahaha

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  117. Tenneil, BI, TS~ what bad pics of yourselves could u post to even things up for Rob? poor baby!

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  118. And this is why you guys have the best Robert Pattinson site. OMG that picture... it's going to make the tabloids next week.. you know it.

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  119. I turn my back for 5 minutes...and the wolves descend...

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  120. TS: LMAO... I was thinking about "if I were Rob..." earlier.

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  121. Laura~ComicCon Rob is THE BEST EVER....!!! LOVE IT

    Jules~ what are you "popping" off??

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  122. Where were his parents!!?? OMG!

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  123. Hey, Laura, do you have conversations with CO Rob during your bath? Does he scrub your back with a loofah?

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  124. Never turn your back in Quiluete territory, Rose!

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  125. Ellie~of course she does...didn't you know her CO Anakin has a broken light saber?? LOL

    I heart you Laura!! xo

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  126. OH God.. I don't even know what to say.....
    I still love you Robs (lots-way lots)!

    *praying Perez doesn't see this*

    off to look at GQ hotness

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  127. Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong! This is so wrong! I'm ashamed to admit that I can't stop staring at this image Gozde!

    Lolz...I'm feel so embarrassed for Rob. My cheeks are flaming!

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  128. I hate you bitches... I'm dirty texting right now and it's getting good...the boy is getting REALLY good at it...so effing hot....

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  129. --Chanting to self--
    Photoshopped Photoshopped
    Yes it's Photoshopped...
    It's not real...

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  130. LMAO, Ellie! He gets in there with me! haha

    It was the funniest thing today...I was bending over getting something in my closet, and my ass bumped into CO Rob, and all of a sudden it fell on top of me! I was like "OH shit, my fantasies have come true!" HAHAHA!

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  131. Jules your talents are beyond me... you go girl!!

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  133. MEL!! BAHAHA! I busted out laughing at the light sabre comment! That is true, though......No comment...LOL, just kidding!

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  134. Ello Tenneil: Ow are you this fine St. Pat's Day? Drink yerself a green beer, did ya?

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  135. Laura~ Ok.....which is it..."light saber" or "light sabre"...wtf..have I been misspelling this the ENTIRE time...I need to brush up on my 'wars skills...LOL

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  136. Hey TS!!! this is really beyond words

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  137. ROFL @ Laura. OMG, that's hilarious. Be careful, your PE might try to dry hump you next.

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  138. Mel--I have no idea! We need to wiki that shit!

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  139. Laura ...ROFL!!! seriously..a dream come true!!

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  140. OMFG! My Eyes, my eyes!!! No-ooooooo! This is punishment for our lust! And wrong on so many levels, I agree!! LMAO..I wonder if this picture is in the family album??If Rob sees this online he's going to piss himself and run for the shadows!!!

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  141. Laura, that's fucking priceless!

    Oh, and I had PE straddling my console in my car on the way home from work!


    Okay, okay, he doesn't straddle, but a girl can dream, can't she???

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  142. Laura... why is CO Rob in your closet and not your bed?

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  143. When you're a Robkat
    You're a Robkat all the way
    From your first cigarette
    To your last dyin' day.

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  144. Hi, McV!! We're getting almost a full house tonight! (or half, anyway...) :)

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  145. it's just soooo wrong...
    yet u can't help but stare... :P
    ur right we need all the GQ pics now to cleanse our mind, though we may need more!!!

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  146. Yep, that's us, Rose. Delinquents.

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  147. LOL Ellie and Kat!

    Speaking of "wiki-ing that shit", when is AG going to post a new chapter?!? It's been WAYYYYYY too long since her last update.

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  148. ellie still dont have PE can i live through yours??? EWW maybe not..LOL

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  149. McV.... good evening darling...

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  150. Hey my Dirty Girls. Hows it going? Who is drunk, who is getting there, and who is a sorry looser like myself?

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  151. Hi McV!!

    Rose~ I love it! Pure Win!!

    *snapping fingers*

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  152. Sabrizzzz I so agree with you I need a WA fix!!

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  153. Sabrizz... Flutternutter ate the last chapter... she had to start again. Damn cat.

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  154. Kat, he's not IN my closet, he's kind of propped up on the closet door! haha. I suck at putting stuff together, apparently..

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  155. Laura~

    I wikied that shit:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightsaber

    and its one word...not two

    *facepalm*

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  156. I'm back...I think I just left the boy speechless...

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  157. Is it a single blade or dual blade lightsaber like Darth Maul's?

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  158. Jules, speechless or breathless??

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  159. You have made leaving people speechless into a fine art, Jules.

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  160. Hi gals! I sure hope he got paid alot for this job, because HE'S sure gonna pay for it now!

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  161. Shit, just spilled Snapple on my keyboard...

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  162. Jules, it was only a single...no double teaming for Anakin...LOL

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  163. Rose... I love you. Just sayin'

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