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The Keeper of the Unicorn Forest even brings the raw sparkly emotion when he's got a lobster bib tied around his neck and an ear of corn in his hand. Look at him smoldering out of his every pore. I don't know if he wants to throw that corn into a fire or seductively breathe onto its neck (yes, corn cobs have necks) like he's ready to suck an orgasm out of it.
That corn just wants to dry up and pop into a bowl of buttery popcorn. Maybe then RPattz will be pleased with it? Who knows, but I do know that I need to see more dramatic performances like this when I go to Red Lobster. We shouldn't laugh and smile over lobsters. We must brooooooood.
Anyway, RPattz did a whole lot of simmering in December's Vanity Fair. The shoot was typical RPattz. In one photo, he's like "Oh hey, look at me! I'm James Dean." And in another, he's like "Oh hey, look at me! I'm using a piano like an ottoman." Etc...Etc....
In the interview with Vanity Fair, RPattz once again denies that he's rubbing on that Kristen Stewart chick. RPattz said, “It doesn’t make any difference what you say to the tabloids. I’ve literally been across the country from Kristen, and it’s like ‘Oh, they were on secret dates!’ It’s like ‘Where? I can’t get out of my hotel room!’ ”
I believe him. I mean, he doesn't have time to fuck on girls when he's too busy pondering over things like corn.
Previously: Michael K. weighs in on "Robert Pattinson's I can't get a date quote"
Check out DListed for more sarcastic hilarity :)
Asked about the endless rumors of her supposed off-screen romance with Pattinson, for instance, Stewart got nicely fired up. “I probably would’ve answered it if people hadn’t made such a big deal about it,” she said. “But I’m not going to give the fiending an answer. I know that people are really funny about ‘Well, you chose to be an actor, why don’t you just f—ing give your whole life away?! Can I have your firstborn child?’”(Gozde: *coughs* Actually I'd like to have Rob's first born.... Or last born... I'll carry the baby myself. I am THAT unselfish:))
Pattinson himself, who clearly loathes confrontation, tried to softly interject with philosophical statements about the need for an actor to hold onto his individuality. But Stewart cut him off. “I’ve thought about this a lot,” she said. “There’s no answer that’s not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.’ I’m just trying to keep something,” she said. “If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I’d be like ‘F— off!’ I would answer the exact same way.” Without missing a beat, Pattinson looked at Lautner, promising “Me too.” (Gozde: And this answer Rob is why I wanna have your first born :))
Thanks @ViviLit_V09 for the tip :)