Robert Pattinson's Porn Connection

Kate: Bet that got your attention huh?? :-}
Ok before anyone gives out this guy is actually praising Rob!
Read on...................

Robert Pattinson's Porn Connection!!!
by Robert J. Hollywood Jr.

First of all, I may have oversold this thing just a tad in the headline. (Kate: What you promise me porn and now you're not gonna deliver)

But not by much! So keep reading, my movie-lovin' peep-a-deeps. (Kate: Oh ok so)
Bobby loves ya, don'tcha know. Wants to eat ya. For you guys put the food on the Bob Hollywood table. The spring in the Bob Hollywood step. The vermouth in the Bob Hollywood martini! So keep on a-clickin' and a-commentin', my dear, dear readers. (Look, I gave ya the boldface treatment, same as I do with the celebs who populate this blog-o-column thingy.)

Now! To the matter at hand!(Kate:{Giggle} ok if you insist) Pattinson, Robert, and the possible porno connection. (Kate: Bout time get on with it)

O.K. So! Listen. Does the name Harry Reems ring a bell? (Hmmm?)

Guy with floppy tennis hat says: "Uhhh, I don't know, Bob, should it?" (Kate: I'm saying the same thing!)

Well, tennis-hat guy, I dunno. It all depends on yer taste in the area of cinema, I s'pose.


And I, Robert J. Hollywood Jr., I have detected a definite connection between this Reems fellow and the young and rising Monsieur Pattinson. And I shall now proceed to tell you about it, if I can manage to bend these sentences to my not inconsiderable will!

O.K. Now. For those of you who don't know what the hell I'm flappin' my trap about, Mr. Reems is the well-endowed thespian who played one "Dr. Young" in a certain motion picture, a classic, of sorts, from 1972, called Deep Throat.

A sometime pal o' mine, good old Harry is no longer "in the business," as they say, having gone straight, with a religious wife, the little home somewhere in flyover territory with the white picket fence, the tree house in the backyard, the wacky neighbor, and the rest of that particular ball o' American wax.

Teenage girl with tear-stained face: "What about Robbie Pattinson? OMG! Get to the point already you fat old turdball gaywad!" (Kate: Ooh I like you, you can call me a teenager anytime you want)

Sorry, lassie. I'm doin' my best here. But us analogue guys… well, we tend to make a wending way to our various destinations rather like a fella out taking a Sunday drive through the hills of Malibu on his trusty Vespa.

Don'tcha know. (Kate: Unfortunatley I know only too well )

O.K. So by now you have met Mr. Reems. In 1976 Reems starred in an X-rated picture, directed by the semi-great George DuRoy, called Bel-Ami, which was a horny-'n'-porny take on a slim novel written by Guy de Maupassant, whose life came to a sad end when he went mad with the syphilis. With any other of the great writers from the 19th century, a porno version of one of their books might be seen as a sort of sacrilege. A Kentucky-fried joke made at the expense of fusty material. But Monsieur de Maupassant practically screams out for just such a fleshing-out! He was one of the earthiest writers of all time! And this brings us to Mr. Pattinson, who, in the next year, will begin shooting a new version of Bel-Ami under the direction of Declan Donnellan, who made the kinda-good Big Fish a few years back.

Bel-Ami concerns an unscrupulous journalist who uses his small position to advance himself— thanks to his charm, good looks, and sexual wiles —into the upper echelons of Parisian society. It's a great freakin' read. Even today. Just flies by. Others in my profession tend to say that Evelyn Waugh's Scoop is the greatest journalism novel of all time, but I will go with Bel-Ami every damned time.

I think Mr. Pattinson will really do something in this role.(Kate: So do I, So do I ) Get some of the respeck not afforded him by his tendency to brood vampirically in the modern manner (no black cape for him, don'tcha know).

But Reems and Pattinson have more in common than just Bel-Ami. For one, Pattinson is a major heart-throb these days;(Kate: Really ? Who knew? LOL ) and the great Reems once starred in a picture, from 1985, called Heart Throbs. And while Pattinson has made his name in the Twilight series, Reems once played in a film, directed by Victor Nye, called Love Bites. O.K., so Love Bites wasn't about vampires; it actually focused on mosquitoes whose bites make people horny. But what are mosquitoes, if not little vampires of the air? Other Reems titles (they are priceless) include Sherlick Holmes, Wet Rainbow, Fast Ball, and Too Naughy to Say No.

Anyhoots, Bel-Ami is what's known in the biz as a very solid property. It was made as a silent feature in 1919 (!) and has been remade about ten times since then. (I tried, without success, to mount it (Kate: {Giggle} Well what do you expect from a teenage girl) for Tri Arts in 1981, to no avail. What else is new?) So you know you got a real durable tale here that's going to do right by Mr. Pattinson, so long as he does right by it. And I'm bettin' he will (Kate: Mr Hollywood I like your thinking)

Source
Thanks so much to Vilma for the tip!

40 comments:

Jewels64 said...

Robert Pattinson is PORN!!!

I am just gonna die watching this movie!!! GAH!!! Sex, sex and more sex. Sex with Robert Pattinson...my senses just went into overload!!!

Help....

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

god, how are we going to survive this movie???

There will be women fainting, dry humping, and exploding all over the place!!!!

Rob=SEX, FIRE, PORN

Kelly said...

OK Kate...

You got my attention :) But the article kept it.

Guess I'm gonna have a new book to read...I need to get into this guys head before Rob gives the character legs....and arms, and jaw, and eyes, and happy trail...and......
.....
....
...
..
.
*BLACKED OUT*

17foreverlisa said...

I bought the book but then decided to wait until this winter to read it when I am in post-New Moon depression and counting the days until Remember Me is released. I did read the very long, very detailed introduction and Rob's character sleeps with the wife of his boss, his own wife, his mistress, etc. So to answer your question rpattzgirl, I don't think we will survive this movie ;)

Angie said...

Solooking forward to this movie. Don't know if I will be able to maintain my decorum while watching, but I will put in a little effort.

Maybe.

RPLover said...

cute article! and I loved your teen-girl comments, Kate :)

I haven't read this book, but from the sounds of it, I'm going to have to see it with someone who knows CPR. cuz if it's anything like how you ladies are describing, I'm going to have a heart attack and die. I can't wait! LOL

Eating to live said...

I guess that explains why he is reading "The Sex Driven Personality", getting into character. I really hope this movie is NC-17.

jc(britlover) said...

As always, more to look forward to. This article was good-remember Harry R. very well, haha, but of course Rob will leave everlasting memories of true sexy!!!!

StarThink said...

um, is it really wrong that I might want this movie a bit more then New Moon...?!
Cmon, ROBERT and SEX ..oh God, I don't know how the hell anyone can say no to that!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

I read the book first, and really didn't care for it...but after reading the script-Oh hot damn is not even close!!

Wall sex, floor sex-he's sort of a fucker...but you feel for him...

MMc said...

Gosh I really don't understand Rob. He doesn't like attention yet he does this??

What......does he think we're not going to notice?

While I am dying to see him in all his glory...........I'm not so sure this is a good move for him. Unless the movie is really done well and the acting is superb and not like porn.

It would be a big step DOWN for him if it is just gratuitous sex and porn like - I can't believe he'd even consider doing it if he's trying to gain respect from the acting community.

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

It's a really interesting character...and he will only do roles he can build upon..so I have full confidence in what he's going to bring to Georges...

he's flawed...but there is a lot of depth to him as well..

I can't wait!!

Kelly said...

@femroc

I disagree... I think it's just want he needs. I don't think he would take on something"porn-like" (much to my chagrin)... FOCUS Kelly

I think this character is going to be very complex, I really can't wait to see what he does with it, all kidding aside... I think he has the depth to play such a dark person...

Dali was no walk on the beach.. it was deep and emotional, he was insane and genius... Rob, I thought handled that part great.. especially at his age.. I mean.. the topic alone is so sad, not at all gratifying, and although you see him as perhaps someone who is not emotionally attached, and how he treats Lorca is horrid, when he hears of Lorca's death... that scene... without giving anything away for anyone who hasn't seen it.. I will just say.. it left me in tears, silent heartbreaking tears.

I can't wait to see what he does with this part.

Only 23 yrs of age, and he amazes me with his depth, not just in the roles his chooses but in his own character.

*Steps down off soap box*

MMc said...

ok rpattzgirl

I will take your word for it. Surely Rob's management wouldn't allow him to do anything they thought would be crappy and damage his career.

It will be GREAT to see him, wowza!!!! Talk about HOWL AT THE MOON!!!
- I just hope the movie is well done and he gets some OSCAR BUZZ!! Wouldn't that be cool.

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Oh yea, femroc...have faith...he's going to be amazing....

although he did say he has to gain some eight & look a little haggard!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

weight not eight!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Kelly,

DITTO BB!

Kelly said...

RPG...

You have a dm on Twitter when you get a chance :)

I'm forming a support group right now for the screening of this movie.. Bel Ami.. anyone interested in joining :)

Unknown said...

Whew. Well, Bel-Ami is such a classic. I'm glad he's doing it. *snickers* I've read the book both in English and the original French, and while I wish he would do it in French just because I found it a gajillion times better than the english translation, I can't argue with him doing the movie.

Maupassant was known for being a womanizer, and while Georges Duroy is definite scum, the appeal of playing a role like that (especially for Rob) is pretty obvious.

It's not a goody-goody role. Georges is pretty much an ungrateful bastard (albeit a sexy one) and while I can't wait for the sex scenes, I also wanna see what he does with the character.

Shall be interesting for sure.

17foreverlisa said...

@femroc - I agree with rpattzgirl and Kelly. In the midst of all the Robsanity, it's easy to focus on the sexual aspect of the book/movie, but I think this will be a complex role for him. It's a classic tale of social climbing, set in the world of journalism. Some things never change and Rob is learning that first hand. Right or wrong, journalists can sway public opinion. He is maturing as an actor and as a person, so I can't wait to see what he does with the role. The sex is just a bonus!

@rpattzgirl - How in the hell were you lucky enough to read a script? Amazing!

Lisa

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Kelly,
DM back at cha

Federico Zarco said...

YESS!! make an especial twilight porn movie with kristen!!
federicozarco.blogspot.com

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

sprtzmom,

Just talkling to lovely girls with Rob obsessions...you find people with stuff and they are always happy to share!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

Federico!
I'm with you! FF on the big screen..I would give up my first born for that **wink**

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna go read this book!

Joey The Parrot said...

That may very well be the most apealing photo of his face that I've EVER seen. I'm glad you got my attention.
I absolutely love it. Thank you for posting it.

17foreverlisa said...

@Joey Anne - Yes, Smexy Mexi Rob ranks right up there with Rome Rob :)

@rpattzgirl - I need to start hanging out with you more! BTW, I just checked out your blog and signed up to follow. You have some of my favorite pics featured. Nice!

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

sprtzmom,
Thanks!! I'm a Rob slut, and happy to shout it out!

Anonymous said...

Why is it I am more excited to see Rob in this sort of role (not just for the sexy scenes LOL!) than anything else. The Twilight stuff ...I don't know....does not intrigue me as much as this.....something DIFFERENT!!!!

margot said...

frankly speaking I am waiting impatiently for Rob in THIS movie - imagine ... Rob... womanizer, sexy, naughty, wicked, in clothes of that era and without them :)) with women other than Bella in ways opposite to Edward's ways ...
... but one thing - do you guys know that those days all men were wearing moustache or moustache and beard ? how abot that ?

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said...

margot,
I know..he's gonna have to have a stach that he can twirl...I do hope hair is not parted down the middle though...

margot said...

hahahaha
..... I started to be afraid that maybe .... just maybe there IS something to put me off the pretty ....



naaaah ....

Angie said...

I would think that they will want to stay some what true to the story and time period. In that case they will want us to find him pleasant to look at and recogniziable. So, my hope is that they try many looks to get the right one.

Hope he has time to grow out his own facial hair, if he will sport a beard and moustache. Not looking forward to any thing like the Dali moustache, again.

RPLover said...

@ADM-you're so right, no more skinny scary 'staches, please! ;)

Athena said...

I have such a great feeling about Bel-Ami! I loved the book, I loved (and own) "Big Fish", and I love Rob... it's going to be STELLAR!

I agree with this guy that Rob will do something (amazing, may I add) with this role, I just can't wait!

For the sake of my coronary arteries I WILL NOT think about Rob and porn in the same sentence. Oops! *dies*

Athena said...

@lizzibee: same here, I'm so much more excited to see him in this one and Remember Me and Unbound Captives than I am to see him in New Moon. And I *am* looking forward to New Moon!

Unknown said...

Oh my...

This movie is gonna kill me...if I watch it, anyway... If it's gonna be X-rated, then I won't be allowed to watch it, me being only a teen and all...lol...!

solas said...

Am I the only one worried about the effect that'wearing the soul' of that character will do to ROb? Every part in life, for all of us, not just actors, leaves its trace, especially a part that is played over months and prepared for even before that, especially for someone who puts himself into a role. I am hoping he can detach himself enough to get something positive (how to NOT be like DuRoy) and clean out the rest from himself.

JandR said...

Kate - I gotta say I haven't even read the article yet! I am just swooning over Mexico Rob - aaahhh -
so gorgeous - he makes me want to die!!

Babs said...

I can't wait to see this movie!
I think there's more to Georges than just the womanizer, maybe that's why Rob picked this role.
Anyway anything involving Rob and not too much clothing will have my undivided attention LOL

 
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