50 Ways to Annoy Robert Pattinson

The person that posted this says she doesn't know who made the list but whoever it was is a genius :))
50 Ways to Annoy Robert Pattinson

1. Ask him if he thinks Edward Cullen is hot.

2. Accuse him of self-hatred when he says no.

3. Ask him to bite you… again

4. Ask him why he doesn’t like children

5. Cry when he tries to explain

6. Ask him if he thinks Kristen Stewart is hot

7. Ask him if he’s Team Edward or Jacob

8. Ask him if he needs to come out of the closet… just ‘cause

9. Ask him if he thinks vampires and werewolves (or ‘shape-shifters’) are real

10. Set his pillows on fire

11. Tell him he doesn’t sleep when he yells at you

12. Ask him how his ‘hair porn’ video is coming

13. Look offended when he laughs

14. Run up behind him and run your fingers through his awesome Spunk Ransom hair!

15. Give him a shiny silver Volvo for his birthday

16. Cry when he says he can afford a Mercedes.

17. Ask him why they used a hatchback in the Twilight movie, and not a real Volvo

18. Get pissed when he doesn’t know why

19. Ask to see his boxers

20. Smile when he quietly calls for security.

21. Ask him how his super venom-men got Bella pregnant

22. Ask eagerly if they are going to have multiple sex scenes in Breaking Dawn the movie between him and Kristen

23. Call him Edward to his face

24. Ask him if he likes fan-girl screams

25. Ask him how his bath with Harry was!

26. Ask him if the Spanish influenza hurt

27. Remind him of his bath with Harry…AGAIN!

28. Ask him if he got a bruise from falling off the bed when kissing Kristen

29. Ask him how it was kissing Kristen

30. Ask him what color his boxers are

31. Ask him if he wears his Edward makeup just to impress the ladies

32. Ask how many times he had to go to the bathroom after Comic Con.

33. Remind him that he drank his weight in water that day

34. Ask him for a hug

35. Quickly run your fingers through his hair and then run

36. Ask him if he likes being a witch or a vampire better

37. Look surprised when he corrects you on witch to wizard

38. Give him a giant elk for his birthday

39. Look offended when he tries to give it back or release it into the wild

40. Ask him how it feels to be the most wanted man on the face of the earth

41. Before he can answer, ask him if he likes bondage (Gozde: I think this is my favorite :))

42. Ask him if he got a warning from Kristen’s bf, Michael Angarano, before they started filming

43. Ask him if he’d go out with JKR or Stephenie Meyer

44. Tell him he hates his creators when he says no

45. Ask him if he’s ever drank blood

46. Slowly back away when he says no

47. Ask him to marry you

48. Tell him you’re 14

49. Cry when he says no and that he doesn’t like kids

50. Tape a sticker on his car saying he is Jacob’s girlfriend

Thanks to ninirific for the link :))



Anonymous said...

Hilarious, and proof that this guy will never live the character down.

Anonymous said...

I think this is so funny. And it tempts me greatly to keep a list in my purse so that if and WHEN I do meet Rob I can pull the sucker out and do each.and.every.one. teehee

Divinesally said...

Yup he will forever be Robward. It's his fault for doing such a good job.

I was just reading A Love With No Limits: Edward and Bella fanfic. and Sweet mother of Edward! I need 32 cold showers. Picturing Robert as Edward making sweet sweet love to Kristen as Bella is making me seriously sweat. WOW ***heavy breaths*** I think I need a cigarette.

beignet said...

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I can easily picture any of us doing this. We are a twisted lot. LOL :)

Laura said...

LMAO! This was hilarious! I AM curious about #22, though. LOL!!

WinWin said...

Divinesally, please send to the link to whatever you're reading. I want some too!!!
Oh no, there is no turning back for me, is there?

back from lunch. This list is hilarious. LOL

Anonymous said...

So funrific! Love you for posting this ... I needed a hearty laugh today :)

Anonymous said...

Winwin ~ thanks for asking for that link. ME TOO! I'm so steamed from Gozde's visual stimuli that I might as well take the day off and READ! No hope for me today ;)

Emmes said...

Hey GOZ this is the original post...

Tenneil said...

#19 & #30...wait no commando???

Laura.. # 22... and can I be a body double that day...or days...LOL

Laura said...

Hell yes, Tenneil! That's what I'm talking about. I would TOTALLY be Kstew's stand-in for that! haha

Anonymous said...

I was already gonna ask him for a hug when I meet him, haha.
I hope it doesn't make him hate me, XD.

crazy said...

Divinesally- thanks! Note to self to read that FF.

p.s. I GOT MY GQ!!!!

crazy said...

Hi girls~
The list would be useless to me. I'd be standing in front of him drooling and incoherent.

keely said...

Ehis list is hilarious funny LMAO
Thanks for the link, Goz!

Ellie said...

LMAO, this is funny as hell!

Yeah, Laura, I like #22 as well!

Blog later, lady???

thirtysomething said...

crazy: Only one copy??? I had to get two...one to touch...one to treasure

You girls have it all wrong...I don't wanna be kstew...I wanna be the "fluffer" preparing Rob for #22

Anonymous said...

I was having a bad little time there and that GIF totally made me smile. Oh the powers that man holds.

crazy said...

TS~ didn't i say i got 2? i really did! and my own personal PE!!!

crazy said...

looking forward to chatting later girls~~~

Kalle said...

Probably the funniest thing I've read today. Brilliant! Thanks for the laugh.

Hannah said...

Ha! Thats Great!
I love #38! lol! I could just imagine hawling a giant elk wrapped up in a bow to Rob..
"Here Edward, I brought dinner!" ha!

Anonymous said...

Damn laughing of the damn chair. This was brilliant the one better than the other hahahaha

Ms. Bonderson said...

Please post a link to that FF - sounds good... ;)

Ms. Bonderson said...

The GQ is out??? I thought it was next week! Looks like I have an errand to run today.

Anonymous said...

I ran into Books a Million just a minute ago and there is JT still staring at me. Ugh! My heart was thumping out of my chest as I approached the magazines. What is wrong w/ me? Love the list!

Jewels64 said...

This was fucking hilarious! Even Rob himself would find this to be funny!!!

Anonymous said...

I gave this one in as well. This shit is to fuuny. Oh, but Kristen would have a longer list...LOL

And today something popped up about her being a "bitch" again. This guy from MTV Canada went off about her and said she was "replaceable". She was annoyed about some more stupid questions and didn't answer so well. You know how she acts...

Perez had it and YOU TUBE but when I went to the sites it was already taken down. But read comments on Perez you get the idea...

That girl is really killing her career. She is forgetting that it's a part of the job. She is no different than any other star who gets asked those ridiculous questions. Her people need to get her ass under control or they will be jobless before all the Twilight movies are out....

Anonymous said...

I very often think of 50 ways to PLEASE HIM... and myself, of course. A lot. Endlessly! But that could be too hard-core to publish here.

I wouldn't try to annoy Rob, at all...

Anonymous said...

That was too funny!! LOL
I agree with everything except

#34. Ask him for a hug.

Rob doesn't mind hugs so much as when people ask him to bit them.:P
"Where are the snuggles" I read once in an interview. Hehe!
I'll snuggle you baby!

Thanks for the giggle!

Anonymous said...


I agree with Anon. about that hug though....remember the vid. posted here about a week ago showing Rob giving a lucky lass a ridiculously long hug?

Anonymous said...

Haha, that was Fun lol Love Rob so much =)

Anonymous said...

Haha, that was FUN lol Love Rob so much =)

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