Strike of the Ultimate Zygote

This is all kinds of wrong and yet I can't stop staring! My eyes! MY EYES!



Now go and look at the GQ pictures to cleanse your mind :))

Tracy, I don't know if I should thank you or hate you for sending me this picture, lol :) Thanks :)

339 comments:

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crazy said...

what?????

I'm laughing so hard........
plghfnnhtyyeesllnnha.......

sorry!

thirtysomething said...

That picture is disturbing. Seriously. WTF?

Somehow I can't help but look at it again though...

And those shoes and socks. Wow.

...crazy: hiya!

crazy said...

oh god...quick...where the f*** are the GQ pics???!!!!!

Melissa said...

I am seriously going to piss myself from laughing soooooo hard...and I am so not ashamed to admit that. WHAT IN THE SAM HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE????

Fuck

Me.

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

This is the ultimate Zygote Rob...fo' sho'.....He looks sooo uncomfortable...his little belly is sticking out over his shorts? boxers? lady killers? WTF!


Thanks for posting...He is adorable! :-)

Anonymous said...

"I call this look... 'blue steel'"

Tess said...

Oh no... Oh no.... Oh no...

Burn after reading, viewing, whatever!

GG!! just out of fairness, you HAVE to post a GQ outtake directly under this one..

Poor wee lamb...

crazy said...

TS~ hey!!!! how on earth was this allowed to happen? I can't look; it's so embarrassing!!!

lovindashow said...

Can't. Even. Type.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL

What are you people trying to do to me? I can't even function as a normal adult after discovering this blog.

Omigod, the belly. hahahahahaha It's so awesome.

Unknown said...

snrwopftz ... I think I just peed a little I laughed so hard. It's so wrong on so many levels and yet it's funnier than hell. Thank god for puberty!

Melissa said...

Poor Rob probably wishes this pic was BURNED!

Its so bad but I can't stop looking!! GAH!

thirtysomething said...

Anon: Blue steel...genius!

Mel: His belly...you stole my thoughts.

crazy said...

THIS PIC WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS (hopefully) LMFAO!

This is wrong on so many levels!!!!

Tess said...

You know.... He sort of reminds me of my Grandfather in this one.... All thats missing are the sock-suspender thingies..

And what the hell are on those boxers! No wonder he goes commando now (allegedly)

Gozde said...

HAHAHA! I have tears in my eyes! The whole set up is awesome! The socks, his belly, everything! LMAO!

And I linked the GQ pictures in the post out of the kindness of my heart.

Hahaha!

thirtysomething said...

This pic is so freakin naughty...and not in the good way. I feel like such a perv...well I am, but...

crazy said...

Where is everybody??!!! They've gotta see this one!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Gozde, hate her!

Poor Rob, this is so ridiculous.

Going to check on GQ again, please!

Anonymous said...

He's so young! How old is he there? He just looks like a kid that someone dressed up in a very strange and inappropriate way.

Melissa said...

Thanks, Goz!! You srsly have me LMAO @ this pic.

What do you think they are supposed to be modeling?

Shoes?

Scarves?

Underwear?

I can't decide...LOL

Anonymous said...

this is hilarious...

you know the picture that you hate that your mother has of you that you just want to burn but she keeps for some God known reason...this is his!!!!

but the sad part this is for all of the world to see!!!!

poor rob, but that was then and this in NOW (think of GQ)

Gozde said...

LMAO Mel :) No idea!

crazy said...

This was in his portfolio. Catherine saw it and knew she had her Edward. LMAO still. My belly hurts!!!

hornycorn hag said...

She could seriously try out for vampire... the glare off her white skin is scary!!!

Anonymous said...

by the way look at the girls shoes...now this is funny

Jewels64 said...

*FACEPALM* Lord help me... I thought I liked the zygote pix...but this is just seven different hells that I'm being forced to endure as penance for all my incredibly XXX thoughts I had racing through my head after the GQ pix came out...

Must cleanse the mind....GAAAAAHHH!

Bootstrap Intern said...

I can not stop laughing... this picture is wrong on so many levels... But I keep looking at it.

Tess said...

Melissa, I read an interview not too longer with the photographer who shot this. It was for Swim wear with a vintage theme...

Recap: Rob was extremely shy, nervous, but professional. Even with all this, the photographer sensed he had 'something special'

Anonymous said...

Poor Rob. You know, it was written that he was too young for this shoot so he was accompanied by his mother, Clare. Perhaps since she worked for a modeling agency, she thought nothing of these pics. But I bet she never dreamed Rob would become so famous and these goodies would be resurrected. The zygote Rob by himself has been around for some time--I'm wondering where this gem was hidden????

The only thing I'm glad about in this shot is that, at last, we almost see his chest--no surprises.

I doubt it looks much different now, a tiny bit built up due to the working out.

I like Rob's leaness, so no complaints here.

I just feel sad because the gossip people are gonna have a field day!

Where ever you are now ROB, please come out and let the paps take your photo so it will cancel out this beaut, OK?

hornycorn hag said...

Goz babe, I loves you but this pic just gives me the OOGIES!!!!

thirtysomething said...

Hey, hey BI! What's cookin'?

Anonymous said...

oh gozde, you are on right now...
i read the McVampy story on fanfiction that you wrote about...
yikes now that was pretty heavy, the story was ok but i thought the way she had them talking was a bit overdoing it. they are supposed to smart in college not just out of the streets. my stepdaughter is 18 and she does not talk like that. way way different then the wway the story was on twilight but that was cute the way she incorporated all the characters, just my thought.

crazy said...

Jewels ~ You're right! This our punishment for our lust!!!!!!!!

Melissa said...

Tess~this was for swimwear??? LMAO!!

I have never seen anyone go to the beach dressed like this...LOL

Srsly, my sides hurt from laughing...LOL

Bootstrap Intern said...

Hey TS: Corned beef and cabbage is what's cooking!!! :)

I can't stop looking, and laughing, at this picture. I'm so glad I have GQ Rob to look at.

Hey Crazy!!! What's up!

crazy said...

TESS,
Yeah, that "something special" may have been the fact that the kid would wear anything he was asked to wear. Jesus!

Jewels64 said...

Aw crapcheese...I keep going back and looking at it... I keep giggling...

Baby fat became slight beer belly...

Legs...thighs were starting to make their appearance.... Nice calf muscles by the way.....

Oh dammit this is so wrong...but laughing even more now....

Anonymous said...

*

What? No Robsesser is going to write:

"Hot", "Gorgeous", "That is criminal"(well, that one could apply here), "That man rocks", "I need another cold shower now", "I want him now", "Love his chest", "I could just make him", "Please, marry me", or whatever it is that WE always write about the hottest thing on earth???

Come on, girls! Let´s be creative!

Anonymous said...

Oh Jesus, this is madness!!! My eyes are burning and I am laughing so hard my stomach hurts. I feel extremely sorry for him, poor baby...

And this is a time at which I hope that he is NOT looking at this site. I don't want his feelings to get hurt. But I'm sure by now he has realized that this picture and the other ones from that time were just really bad and disturbing.

They look like child porno pics and was that photographer gay or what? Because Rob totally looked exploited... Now I feel sad but wait I'm happy again there is my baby in GQ:)

Laura said...

Oh this is wrong on SO many levels.


HAHAHAHAHA!

Poor Rob :( He probably wishes these pics would just go away! lol

...wowie! said...

awwww...It's disturbing. Funny as hell. This isn't right. Something is off with me laughing at him and boxers. I dunno. I forget, how old is he again? I'm pissing my pants.

Anonymous said...

you are right it does look like some sort of child porn, that is great, i didnt think of that until now.

crazy said...

Sophia~ i just can't right now!!! Give me a minute! LMFAO.

BI and TS ~
DH wants 2 know what'sgoing on. I think I'll show him the pic. He'll never bother me again. :O

Tess said...

Sophia - All that goes without being said ;)

Anonymous said...

Ohhh! Please post GQ, VF, EW anything!!! Must cleanse the eyes. Those picture make me feel wrong for loving him. Thise must have been taken before 16 when he was still modeling.

Please GQ me quick.

thirtysomething said...

The girl is probably like "damn and I thought I was modeling with a 15 year old gay boy..." Bet she's kicking herself in the ass now for not hooking up with him!

Bootstrap Intern said...

Sophia, I'm sorry, LOL, but I have nothing positive to say about this pic... well, it is making me laugh, that's a positive, right??? Oh and at least he has grown up to be a fine fine man.

Suz said...

i just lost my horn.... must look at GQ out takes

crazy said...

Why do I have a feeling that Rob would also think this is hilarious?

He wondered what all the fuss was about with that horrible EW cover showing him with all kinds of make up with kristen. He said "was it that bad?"

Jewels64 said...

It's like a freaking traffic accident...I'm morbidly obsessed with looking at it...

Anonymous said...

Tess, what does going "commando" mean? I've never heard that phrase before. I'm so clueless.

...wowie! said...

OMG...I dunno why I just went back to look. That's bad. It does look like like these are kids being exploited. And his belly is so...I wanna say it reminds me of my 3 year old son's belly...soooo cute! =)

...wowie! said...

Commando mean no underwear.

I always thought that too tho.

thirtysomething said...

Holy shizzz crazy! You have a blogger account now? How WAS that horse ride? hehe

Tell dh to be a good boy and leave you to your robsession...he'll catch his later...much later ;)

crazy said...

Oh his shirtless scene in New Moon couldn't possibly disappoint after this!!

Bootstrap Intern said...

Jewels: Ditto! I can't seem to walk away from it. My dinner is getting cold... I.must.walk.away.

Kat said...

I can't stop laughing.

crazy said...

yes TS, finally~ you should've been here today while Tenneil laughed at me 'cause i couldn't figure the damn thing out. She had to help me! I'm blaming it on lack of sleep from last night. that's my story and i'm sticking to it. :)

Anonymous said...

When I first looked at it, I thought it was a fake picture, a "montage".

Then I recognized his hand, and, also, the leg´s hair (you can see that in HPotter, I always STOP at this point of the film), but, oh, Rob, that bear belly IS KILLING ME!

You are right, crazy, let´s give us some more time...

But, still, I think we can do it...

Sam said...

omg!!!!!!! That is sooo bad! You know how ebarrassed he has to be about that whole shoot? For the love of god take it down! hahaha

Kat said...

Mel, we all dress like this to the beach in England.... no, really...

Ellie said...

AAAGGGHHHH!!!!! MY EYES! MY EYES!

Anonymous said...

wowie, thanks for the explanation and the visual. I'm cured! Icould breath for a second just thinking about Rob going "commando". Just cured me from those pics! I'm not felling that wrong for wanting him now.

I'm ready for more Rob hotness.

Suz said...

black socks on english men at the beach is very common..

Melissa said...

Kat~I want pics. STAT.


LOL

crazy said...

BI ~ yes, thinking positive thoughts...winning the lottery, ice cream, bunnies, child porn Rob....oh nooooo!

Rose said...

Fucking creepy.
And yes, a little bit funny.
but creepier than funny.

Bootstrap Intern said...

Okay, I just looked again. And still laughing.
I really hope Rob is laughing at this. Poor baby.

Melissa said...

Oh, HELLO Kat, Ellie, Jules, Tess, Laura, Goz...!!

xoxo

Kat said...

Melissa.... we also do not take photo's at the beach. We're all painfully white.

Tess said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Hey Mel! GAH! Why can I not stop looking at this picture?? HAHAHA

crazy said...

TS ~ oh no! what if I see childporn Rob when i'm with my DH now???

Anonymous said...

I wrote bear belly, it is BEER BELLY! You see, how upset I am???

I can´t stop laughing. And my boyfriend is in the other computer. HE CAN´T SEE THAT!!!

Kat said...

Oh yeah... my laughing took away my manners....

Hi Tess, Ellie, Rose, Mel, Laura... Goz (still here?).... who'd I miss....

Tess said...

Hello Everyone!

Rose said...

Hey Kat, Ellie, Laura and Tess!

crazy said...

Soph~ still processing the magnitude of this........ and still cracking up!

MissMonika said...

My eyes! My eyes!! I'm blind over here. X_X

Sabrizzle said...

Hi loves!

This pic is seriously *hork* worthy!

Suz said...

bear belly works tooo..

*shudder*

Rose said...

Hey Sabrizzzz :)

Bootstrap Intern said...

I have the urge to poke his belly.

crazy said...

So THIS is what the English must wear to the beach? No wonder Rob is so pasty.

...wowie! said...

See...this is why I'd rather have my own visual. I like guys with clothes on. Well, at least their bottoms on. ::sigh::

Seriously, what does that make me that I keep looking at it?

Sabrizzle said...

Hi Rose! *frantically waving*

...wowie! said...

Bootstrap...I wanna poke the belly too. ;)

Ellie said...

Hi, Laura, Tess, Rose, Mel,and Goz
(still awake there, young lady?)!!!

How are all my lovelies tonight??

thirtysomething said...

BI: Do you think he would laugh like the doughboy if you did? Might be worth it for that...

Melissa said...

Hi Rose & Sabrizzz!!


Kat~don't you hold out on me!! LOL

Pale is the new tan, so bust out!

Sabrizzle said...

This pic is making my eyes burn.

Ellie said...

Sabrizzzzz! {{{Waves}}}

Jewels64 said...

Course...I'm the girl who has a partially dressed TomStu as her avatar....I'm so wrong!!!!

Sabrizzle said...

Hi Ellie, Melissa, and Jules!

Ellie said...

Oh, I missed Kat! How could I do that??

Hello, Kat!

crazy said...

BI ~ I have the urge to blow raspberries into it.

Laura said...

Hey Kat, Rose, Ellie, Mel, Goz (?), and Sabrizz!

I'll be back on here a little later. It's bathtime! Unfortunately I'll have this image in my head the whole time! hahaha

Ellie said...

Ah, and my Jules! xoxo

Rose said...

Hey Meliss and Jules:)

Sabrizzle said...

And hello Kat, Tess, Laura, and anyone else I missed!

Laura said...

OH, and hey Jules!! DIdn't see you!

Kat said...

Mel - you're getting no beach pics from me.

I think Rob should put the pic on a t-shirt and wear it with pride...

Bootstrap Intern said...

TS: I am going to believe he would laugh like the doughboy if I did... yup, that's what I'm believing.

crazy said...

his belly, that is! God!

Jewels64 said...

MUUUAAAHHHH BABIES!!!

I love that the girls are here...

**Blows kisses to Rob's belly**

Sabrizzle said...

LOL Laura! Go look at the GQ pics before you take a bath and hopefully you won't think about zygote Rob.

Kat said...

Hey Sabrizzzzz, Ellie.... Jules...

I love the way Laura announces "bath time" and she doesn't have kids :-)

Tess said...

Hello Ellie and Sabrina. I'm off for a bit.

Have fun ladies! xo you's

Melissa said...

Ok, Kat...its cool...LOL

No beach pics for me either...LOL

Anonymous said...

that HAS to be photoshopped!

Sabrizzle said...

Hi and bye Tess! xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Can I die? OMG what the heck is this?
He can't be real. Looks like a fake barbie male doll. AHAHA LMFAO!!!

Rose said...

Hahhahaha Kat...I never would have thought of that...
Is Laura just 'dirty'?

Anonymous said...

I don't think I've taken the name of God in vain so many times in a span of 10 seconds. LMAO! OMFG!

WHAAAT???

Wait...wasn't his mom with him when this pic was taken? The photographer said so in some article posted here before. LOL! If my mom took my 'lil bro to a photo shoot and this is the outcome, I'd make a living blackmailing the family, I'd never have to work! LOL!

I guess the only thing left to do now is to take the name of God in vain some more until I'm numb. LMAO!

Anonymous said...

Well, if Rob is embarrassed by these pics, I hope he knows that EVERYONE has embarrassing pics and CAN RELATE - but not very many people go on to become majorly successful and loved actors known all over the world.

Ellie said...

Yes, Rose, yes she is dirty.

thirtysomething said...

BI: "If I were Rob"...I would laugh like the doughboy.


Liked that didn't you?

Sabrizzle said...

Saying Laura is dirty is pretty much just stating the obvious. LOL

Anonymous said...

OMG That is not his body! He has never looked like that in his life!

Kat said...

She just wants us to have mental images of her in the bath... dirty girl...

crazy said...

Lilly~ i think we should all post really embarrassing pics of ourselves here, to make if fair and square. I have one of me wearing nothing but knee pads and goggles. ;)

Ellie said...

Maybe "bath" is some kind of code word...

Sabrizzle said...

Like "painting doors", Ellie?

Tenneil said...

Okay...been gone appparently for too long...because this is what I come back to. WTF... Zygote Rob to the 10th degree of all wrongness. Okay I know his mom worked for a modeling agency but did she have to sign him up for this... he looks ....well there are no words for once I am speechless....when it comes to the man!!!

Hey Ladies....happy st p day!!

Kat said...

Ah... that's it. It's her code. Speaking of, I must paint some doors tonight...

Laura said...

I turn my back for 5 minutes, and I'm getting called "dirty" LOL!!

Like Sabrizz said, I thought that was obvious. HAHA

Melissa said...

I wonder which Rob Laura is thinking about in said bath. Hopefully not SwimRob..BLEH.

crazy said...

Tenneil - do u believe this/??

Anonymous said...

Okay, at least they're color coordinated with their outfits...if anyone can call 'black and white' coordinated.

God, help me find something right about this...please...LOL.

Melissa said...

Oh HI LAURA!!! I didnt see you there...LOL

Jewels64 said...

Ladies...I gotta pop off for a moment...BRB...

Laura is a dirty girl...I'm gonna have to wash really well after seeing these photos too...

Laura said...

Mel--ComicCon Rob, actually! hahahahaha

Sabrizzle said...

Hurry back Jules!

crazy said...

Tenneil, BI, TS~ what bad pics of yourselves could u post to even things up for Rob? poor baby!

Nena said...

And this is why you guys have the best Robert Pattinson site. OMG that picture... it's going to make the tabloids next week.. you know it.

Kat said...

Ooops, hi Laura..... *gulp*

Rose said...

I turn my back for 5 minutes...and the wolves descend...

Bootstrap Intern said...

TS: LMAO... I was thinking about "if I were Rob..." earlier.

Laura said...

CUM back soon, Jules!

LOL

Melissa said...

Laura~ComicCon Rob is THE BEST EVER....!!! LOVE IT

Jules~ what are you "popping" off??

Melissa said...

LOL, ROSE! :-)

Marilyn said...

Where were his parents!!?? OMG!

Ellie said...

Hey, Laura, do you have conversations with CO Rob during your bath? Does he scrub your back with a loofah?

Sabrizzle said...

Never turn your back in Quiluete territory, Rose!

Tenneil said...

Crazy this is CRAZY

Melissa said...

Ellie~of course she does...didn't you know her CO Anakin has a broken light saber?? LOL

I heart you Laura!! xo

xoRobxo said...

OH God.. I don't even know what to say.....
I still love you Robs (lots-way lots)!

*praying Perez doesn't see this*

off to look at GQ hotness

eternaltwilight said...

Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong! This is so wrong! I'm ashamed to admit that I can't stop staring at this image Gozde!

Lolz...I'm feel so embarrassed for Rob. My cheeks are flaming!

Jewels64 said...

I hate you bitches... I'm dirty texting right now and it's getting good...the boy is getting REALLY good at it...so effing hot....

Marilyn said...

--Chanting to self--
Photoshopped Photoshopped
Yes it's Photoshopped...
It's not real...

Laura said...

LMAO, Ellie! He gets in there with me! haha

It was the funniest thing today...I was bending over getting something in my closet, and my ass bumped into CO Rob, and all of a sudden it fell on top of me! I was like "OH shit, my fantasies have come true!" HAHAHA!

Sabrizzle said...

LOL Jules, you sexy minx!

Tenneil said...

Jules your talents are beyond me... you go girl!!

Tenneil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sabrizzle said...

ROFLMFAO Laura!

Laura said...

MEL!! BAHAHA! I busted out laughing at the light sabre comment! That is true, though......No comment...LOL, just kidding!

thirtysomething said...

Ello Tenneil: Ow are you this fine St. Pat's Day? Drink yerself a green beer, did ya?

Rose said...

hahahaha Laura!! :)

Melissa said...

Laura~ Ok.....which is it..."light saber" or "light sabre"...wtf..have I been misspelling this the ENTIRE time...I need to brush up on my 'wars skills...LOL

Tenneil said...

Hey TS!!! this is really beyond words

Anonymous said...

ROFL @ Laura. OMG, that's hilarious. Be careful, your PE might try to dry hump you next.

Sabrizzle said...

LOL McV!

Laura said...

Mel--I have no idea! We need to wiki that shit!

Tenneil said...

Laura ...ROFL!!! seriously..a dream come true!!

lostinphilly said...

OMFG! My Eyes, my eyes!!! No-ooooooo! This is punishment for our lust! And wrong on so many levels, I agree!! LMAO..I wonder if this picture is in the family album??If Rob sees this online he's going to piss himself and run for the shadows!!!

Ellie said...

Laura, that's fucking priceless!

Oh, and I had PE straddling my console in my car on the way home from work!


Okay, okay, he doesn't straddle, but a girl can dream, can't she???

Kat said...

Laura... why is CO Rob in your closet and not your bed?

Rose said...

When you're a Robkat
You're a Robkat all the way
From your first cigarette
To your last dyin' day.

Ellie said...

Hi, McV!! We're getting almost a full house tonight! (or half, anyway...) :)

Anonymous said...

it's just soooo wrong...
yet u can't help but stare... :P
ur right we need all the GQ pics now to cleanse our mind, though we may need more!!!

Ellie said...

Yep, that's us, Rose. Delinquents.

Sabrizzle said...

LOL Ellie and Kat!

Speaking of "wiki-ing that shit", when is AG going to post a new chapter?!? It's been WAYYYYYY too long since her last update.

Tenneil said...

ellie still dont have PE can i live through yours??? EWW maybe not..LOL

Kat said...

McV.... good evening darling...

TheDogsBollocks said...

Hey my Dirty Girls. Hows it going? Who is drunk, who is getting there, and who is a sorry looser like myself?

Melissa said...

Hi McV!!

Rose~ I love it! Pure Win!!

*snapping fingers*

Rose said...

Hey McV:)

Tenneil said...

Sabrizzzz I so agree with you I need a WA fix!!

Kat said...

Sabrizz... Flutternutter ate the last chapter... she had to start again. Damn cat.

Melissa said...

Hi DB!!!

Sabrizzle said...

Hi DB!

Rose said...

Hello DB!!!

Laura said...

Kat, he's not IN my closet, he's kind of propped up on the closet door! haha. I suck at putting stuff together, apparently..

Sabrizzle said...

Damn Flutternutter! LOL

Tenneil said...

Hello DB!!! And McV

Kat said...

Hey DB... hows you?

Laura said...

Hey McV and DB! :)

Melissa said...

Laura~

I wikied that shit:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightsaber

and its one word...not two

*facepalm*

Jewels64 said...

I'm back...I think I just left the boy speechless...

Sabrizzle said...

Welcome back Jules!

Ellie said...

Db, how are you, girl???

xoxo

Melissa said...

Hey, Jules!! xo

Jewels64 said...

Is it a single blade or dual blade lightsaber like Darth Maul's?

Ellie said...

Jules, speechless or breathless??

Melissa said...

Rose~~


{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

Rose said...

You have made leaving people speechless into a fine art, Jules.

Rose said...

Thanks {{{Melissa}}}

crazy said...

Hi gals! I sure hope he got paid alot for this job, because HE'S sure gonna pay for it now!

Ellie said...

Shit, just spilled Snapple on my keyboard...

Melissa said...

Jules, it was only a single...no double teaming for Anakin...LOL

Kat said...

Rose... I love you. Just sayin'

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